Everything that you need to know about guy-on-guy anal sex
A sexual encounter between guys doesn’t always have to include anal sex, but it’s definitely up there on the menu of what’s likely to happen when guys get together, get naked, and want to have some fun.
Guy-on-guy anal sex isn’t something that’s generally covered in sex-ed classes in school, so we tend to learn by watching porn and a fair bit of trial and error.
You probably know all of this already, but – just in case – here’s some basic life lessons about anal sex that we’ve picked up over the years.
Anal sex – a guide to the basics
As well as being a gateway to major pleasure, there’s no getting away from the fact that your anus is also the exit from your body of your faeces.
That’s why you generally need to do a bit of planning ahead when it comes to getting fucked.
If you’re wanting someone to rim you, and fuck you, then you’re going to want to be ready, you’re going to want to be clean and confident.
Feeling clean and confident and ready for anal sex is going to be different for different guys. Some days you might be more ready for action than others. It depends a bit on your digestive system, or what you’ve had to eat.
If you’re feeling healthy and you’ve had a bowel movement earlier in the day, then you shouldn’t need much more preparation than a good scrub in the shower. Use soap that’s not going to irritate you, and put your fingers to work with the warm water to ensure that you’re minty-fresh where it counts.
If you want a bit of extra help for your digestive system, fibre supplements are one way of keeping everything moving. However, it might take your body a few days to adjust to these, so don’t expect them to work instant magic.
You’ll hear a lot of talk about douching, and for some guys that’s an essential part of their getting-ready-to-be-fucked routine. Essentially, you’re squirting water into your arse to clean it out. There’s lots of online stores that offer portable douching products, but it takes a bit of practice to get comfortable navigating that procedure. Be gentle with yourself, douching can damage the sensitive tissues of your anal wall. You’ll want to douche well in advance of any action — at least an hour before, ideally. Having squirted water up into your arse, you want to make sure that it’s all out before anyone tries to fuck you.
If you’re not feeling clean and confident, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You just need to let your guy know that your ass isn’t on the menu. You’ve got plenty of other options available to you, so get to work and explore those.
If you want to start sticking things up your butt, you’re going to need some lubrication – everyone just refers to this as lube.
Most pharmacies and supermarkets will sell lube in some form, but your best bet is to go to a specialist retailer or online store and buy lube that’s designed for anal play.
There’s different types of lube out there, and it’s worth experimenting to find what works best for you. The main distinction is between a water-based lube or a silicone-based lube.
If you’re using condoms, you need a water-based lube. Silicone-based lube can deteriorate the condom.
Water-based lubes are generally easier to clean up, and will wash easily out of sheets and clothing.
However, you’ll probably get more pleasure out of a silicone-based lube. These tend to last longer, don’t need to be reapplied so much, and can give you a smoother sensation as you’re being fucked or enjoying some ass-play.
We’re at our most vulnerable – physically and emotionally – when we’re having sex. Anal sex requires trust because you’re going to enjoy it more if you’re both relaxed and feeling comfortable with what you’re doing.
If you’re feeling anxious, your body will instinctively tense up. This is why it’s generally best not to rush into anal sex – ease into it, build up to it, get comfortable with each other.
If you’re wanting anal sex – whether you’re getting fucked or doing the fucking – don’t just ram a cock in there and hope for the best. You’re going to get the best results if you put in some pre-work.
There’s lots of variations on this, but – in really basic terms – think of it as the top putting some preparation into the man-hole of the guy he’s about to fuck. You need to relax the bottom’s hole – you want to get it relaxed, loose, lubricated, and ready to take your cock.
There’s a number of ways you can go about this, and it’s generally best to do them all. Don’t be impatient – the more pre-work you put in, the more fun it’s going to be for both of you.
Rimming is a really good place to start. Put your mouth to work on his hole. Licking, spitting, chewing – really get your tongue in there and get everything as wet as possible. This is fun to do as a top, and super-pleasurable for the bottom.
Add your fingers into the mix. You can do this while you’re rimming or you might start to introduce some lube at this stage. Start with one finger, add a second, build to three. Again, your objective here is to relax the hole, loosen the hole, and get the hole lubed up and ready for action. All of this should be giving your bottom a lot of pleasure. If things are feeling a bit tight, add more lube and keep at it. Don’t rush things, take your time.
Depending on how you’re both feeling, you might want to move on to a toy or a dildo. As well as being fun for you both, a dildo is just going to help you on that journey towards being ready for some solid fucking. Being worked over by a dildo is going to help the bottom feel confident and ready to take things to the next level.
Finally, it’s dick time. Add some more lube, find a position that works for both of you, and start slowly.
You’re probably going to feel a bit of initial discomfort, but it shouldn’t be painful. If you’re feeling pain when he’s pushing his cock into you, you need more pre-work. Don’t feel rushed – it’s okay to slow things down and put some more time into ensuring that you’re relaxed, loose, and ready.
To get started, the top should use some momentum in his hips to gradually work his cock in and to make sure that you’re both ready to take it up a gear.
If you’re the bottom and you haven’t been fucked by this top before, you may prefer to start out by positioning yourself on top of him and riding his cock – this gives you a bit more control as your body gets used to taking his cock inside you.
As the top begins to find his rhythm he should steadily build the power of his thrusts.
You don’t have to have sex like a porn-star, but try changing positions every now and then. Some angles will work better than others. Communicate. Take a break, get some water, get back to work. This doesn’t have to be a sprint.
If you’re the top and the bottom is letting you know what’s feeling good, then keep doing more of what’s feeling good and go to town – this is your reward for all of that pre-work.
It’s a bit easier if you’re having sex within a relationship, or it’s repeat business with a regular fuck-buddy, you get to know what works for you both and you get to know what you both like.
With a one-off hook-up, it’s not always as straightforward. Try and communicate as much as possible. If you’re the one getting fucked, let the top know if you want him to take it slow or go hard and rough. If you’re whoring yourself out as an eager fuck-hole ready to be used, different guys will have different interpretations of what that means. Communicate as much as you can to help ensure that everyone gets to enjoy a satisfying sexual encounter.
Set the mood
You’ll probably want to put some music on, and it’s often helpful to have some porn playing. Make sure that you’re music and porn choices work for the type of guy-on-guy encounter you’re looking for.
What should I eat before anal sex?
Whether you’re planning a big night out, thinking ahead to a hookup you’ve got planned, or just planning a romantic night for two, your search history might include something along the lines of – When can I eat before anal sex? What foods are good for anal sex? What’s a good diet for anal sex?
When it comes to food, anal sex is a bit like swimming – if you’ve had a big meal, the general rule is that you want to wait a bit before jumping straight in there. But is there an ideal diet for bottoms?
If you’re a guy who enjoys a bit of anal play, you’ll know that you want to be feeling clean and confident before someone starts sticking things up your butt. Unsurprisingly, there’s a direct connection between the state of our butt and what we eat – your day-to-day diet is inevitably going to play a role in your sex life.
Following a healthy diet in your day-to-day life is a sensible idea regardless of what sort of sex that you enjoy, but if you’re going to be having anal sex then healthy choices are a good option.
What exactly does a healthy diet look like for bottoms?
Something that you definitely want to be thinking about is fibre – it plays a really important role in the digestive system. Fibre isn’t just some kind of supplement that you can take at the last minute before you head off to a sex party, it needs to be incorporated into your diet over an extended period of time.
There’s two types of fibre – soluble fibre and insoluble fibre. As the terms suggest, soluble fibres absorb water and help keep everything moving smoothly, whereas insoluble fibres don’t absorb water and keep everything moving efficiently. A good balance of both is what you’re looking for.
Soluble fibres come from fruits, and insoluble fibres comes from grains and vegetables. Health food stores will have fibre supplements available if you think you need to boost the fibre in your diet. Make sure you’re drinking plenty of water to get those soluble fibres working.
Avoid processed foods
Processed foods aren’t great, and they tend to mess with your digestion. Try and go for fresh, organic foods wherever possible. Avoid foods that are high in sugar.
Things like carbonated drinks or beer can make you feel gassy and bloated. A lot of guys recommend avoiding dairy in the lead-up to anal sex.
Spicy foods with lots of chilli and pepper are obviously delicious, but they’re difficult for your body to deal with, and can cause some unpredictable movements in your digestive system. If you’re planning ahead for anal sex, try and avoid any spicy foods.
Read meat is a great source of protein, but it takes a long time for your body to digest. If you’re eating a lot of red meat and it’s slowing down your digestive system, then you might not be as clean and confident as you’d like to be.
The final preparations
Whatever you’ve eaten, you may still want the extra certainty of giving yourself a clean out with a douche of some kind. Douching properly takes time and practice – don’t rush it, and don’t try and do it at the last minute before heading out for the night.
Try not to douche too often – it’s not great for your butt. A couple of times a week is probably okay, but the more you can leave your butt to just naturally do its thing, the better it will feel.
Once you’ve douched and you think that you’re ready to go, giving yourself some pre-work with a dildo will also help ensure that you’re clean and confident and ready for action.
Understand your body
There’s no getting around the fact that the primary function of your butt is to expel your body’s faeces – the waste matter, the shit. If everything is working as it’s supposed to, and your diet is good, then you should be able to enjoy great anal sex without much more preparation than a thorough clean in the shower and plenty of lube.
It’s great to share tips and get advice from friends, but ultimately you need to figure out what works best for you. You know your body best.
If your stomach is feeling a bit upset or you’re not feeling up for anal sex for whatever reason, just take a rain-check on that activity. There’s plenty of other ways that you can get each other off – it’s totally okay to make it clear that anal sex isn’t on the menu.
How can I fuck like a porn star?
The porn that fuels our fap fantasies frequently showcases guys with enormous cocks slamming relentlessly into guys with gaping fuck-holes. They fuck for ages and then cum bucketloads – generally managing to coordinate things so that they cum at the same time.
It can sometimes feel a bit overwhelming if your sexual encounters don’t match up to what porn shows us we should be aspiring to.
It’s important to remember that porn isn’t real – it’s a fantasy. Even the amateur stuff that guys have filmed on their phone. It’s adjacent to real, but it’s still an edited version of how things actually went down.
When you’re filming a porn scene, there’s lots of stuff that you cut out – you’re showing the edited highlights, you’re creating a fantasy for the viewer.
Away from the cameras, porn stars are just regular guys. You’ll see them at the gym, in the bar, on your dating app. But what are some of the porn-star tricks that they’re taking into their personal lives?
Porn-star tricks for Tops
How do you make sure that you’re ready to step up to the plat and tear up that fuck-hole? Here’s some suggestions:
- Think about hygiene. Cleaning your teeth and making sure that your breath smells fresh is a good starting point. Having a shower before sex is generally a really good idea. Don’t use deodorant – someone’s face is probably going to end up in your armpit and they don’t want to eat deodorant.
- Don’t do chems – the drugs will make it difficult to get hard and stay hard.
- Medication such as Viagra or Cialis can be used to get your cock hard and keep your cock hard. In theory, if you’re a healthy guy then you won’t need to take this kind of enhancement. But, if anxiety is messing with your head, or you want to have an extended fuck-down session without any worries about staying hard, then taking something like Viagra or Cialis is pretty much everyone’s go-to.
- When porn stars are on set filming, they will generally use an injection such as Trimax. This is injected straight into the cock and keeps you rock-hard for an extended period of time. You wouldn’t inject yourself with Trimax for an off-camera hook-up – these kind of products effectively desensitise your cock and make it difficult to cum.
- In porn scenes, we often see the Tops getting really verbal – telling the Bottom what they’re going to do, what they’re doing, and what they’ve done. Think of it as taking on a character – when you decide to be the Top in a sexual encounter, you need to embrace that. Channel your aggression and machismo into making sure that you’re giving that Bottom the fuck of his life.
Porn-star tricks for Bottoms
We’ve already covered lots of detail about what to eat, and making sure that you’re clean and confident, but here’s some additional suggestions to ensure that you’re ready to take whatever the top is willing to give:
- Be up to speed with your health. If you’re taking cum up your ass, you either need to be taking medication and be Undetectable or taking PrEP.
- It’s not just your fuck-hole that should be clean and confident. Don’t forget to clean your teeth and ensure that you’re looking good and smelling great.
- After you’ve douched and get yourself ready, taking a bath can be a good way to ensure that your body is relaxed.
- Kick-start the pre-work by working yourself over with a dildo, then putting a butt-plug in to help you to stay ready.
- Applying some haemorrhoid cream to your butt will help to desensitise things.
- Think about what you’re going to be wearing when the Top arrives. A couple of reveals adds to the fun – sexy booty-shorts that reveal to a jockstrap or a thong is always a crowd-pleaser.
Porn-star tricks for cum-shots
In a porn-scene, the cum-shot is known as the money-shot. Everyone wants to the guys – especially the tops – cum bucketloads.
Everyone is different as to how much cum they produce, and there’s no guarantees on the various methods you can try to maximise your load.
Here’s some things you can try:
- Abstain from cumming for a period before having sex. You could try not having sex or jacking off for something like 24 hours before your hook-up. It’s generally thought that this will help ensure that you’ll shoot a big load.
- Dose up on your vitamins. A healthy diet is always going to be a good start to ensuring that everything is functioning like it should, but if you’re looking for a boost, try taking some supplements – Vitamin C, Vitamin D, and Zinc are worth trying.
- Fruit juice is seen as a way of boosting your load. Pineapple juice is believed to make your cum taste better, while pomegranate juice is believed to help boost your volume.
How do gay men have sex?
Ever wondered how gay men have sex? Ever wondered if other guys are having a similar experience to you?
We decided to run a quick survey to see what insights we could gather about the sex lives of gay men.
117 guys responded to our survey.
- 92% of respondents identified their sexuality as Gay.
- 8% of respondents identified their sexuality as Bisexual.
Here’s what they told us:
In general, how often do you have sex?
- More than once a week: 26%
- About once a week: 21%
- A couple of times each month: 16%
- At least once a month: 10%
- Less than once a month: 16%
- I don’t have sex: 11%
When you have sex with someone, what do you enjoy the most?
- Oral sex — giving: 18%
- Oral sex — receiving: 11%
- Anal sex — giving: 14%
- Anal sex — receiving: 31%
- Mutual masturbation: 26%
“I like all of the above, plus watching and being watched by interested parties.” — anonymous survey respondent.
“Rimming is what I enjoy the most.” — anonymous survey respondent.
“What I like is being played with by two or more men.” — anonymous survey respondent.
“Kissing. Seriously. I could do it for hours.” — anonymous survey respondent.
“I’m a CBT Dom into ball busting.” — anonymous survey respondent.
“Kissing is next to godliness, and rimming comes a close second.” — anonymous survey respondent.
“I enjoy sex a lot better after a few cocktails…” — Paul, Twitter
“I used to be 100% top when I was younger. Now I lean more towards a total bottom. As I got older it is like something has been awakened in my ass and it craves cock.” — Coyote, Twitter
When you have sex with someone, what do you feel most confident doing?
- Oral sex — giving: 35%
- Oral sex — receiving: 11%
- Anal sex — giving: 11%
- Anal sex — receiving: 19%
- Mutual masturbation: 24%
“I’m happy doing all of that but I prefer to bottom. However I have been praised on my topping ability.” — anonymous survey respondent.
“I’ve rarely have I met anyone who is good at giving oral.” — anonymous survey respondent.
“I love giving anal sex, but sometime I get all caught up in my head — especially if we’re with a new playmate. That leads to a cock that doesn’t get fully hard. That can be embarrassing sometimes. When receiving anal, you can get lost in the sexual ecstasy and it’s amazing. Also, if there are more than two of you, that just adds to the thrill.” — Coyote, Twitter
“I’m deaf, and when it comes to social meets I tend to prefer sex to chat! My preferred scene is a group massage with like-minded friends, ending up with a fuck-session. A joy to watch, to give, and to receive — all naked and horny together!” — Owen, Twitter
When you’re having sex with someone, do you explore any of the following:
- Role plays: 41%
- BDSM: 31%
- Fetish wear: 48%
- Sex toys or dildos: 58%
- Chems: 9%
- Threesomes: 58%
- Group sex: 39%
- Watersports: 27%
- Spanking: 34%
- Fisting: 10%
- Poppers: 42%
“Threesomes is something that my husband and I have been exploring more. It takes a while to find the right dynamic, but it’s well worth the wait. It’s definitely worth exploring with someone with a big age difference. It isn’t just about having sex, it’s about having a sexual experience. If you have an age difference, different sexual talents are brought to the bedroom.” — Coyote, Twitter
“I would add foot fetish to the list.” — anonymous survey respondent.
“I also like suspension and wrestling.” — anonymous survey respondent.
“Rimming. Armpits. Socks. Underwear.” — anonymous survey respondent.
“Sex toys is another level of exploring that is well worth it. Put a prostrate massage toy in your partner and that leaves you freed up to do other things. The sensation of sexual pleasure from multiple erogenous zones makes for a great orgasm.” — Coyote, Twitter
Do you use any dating or hook-up apps?
- Yes: 62%
- No: 38%
“I’ve discovered that you don’t need to have an hour to have an intense time. Nothing wrong with a quickie — especially if you’re out and about and not home.” — Simon, Twitter
“We use Gaydar. It’s a great way to screen guys to see if they just want a quick hook-up or something a little more than a one-time shot. We tend to lean toward guys who are looking for more of a casual friend-with-benefits. We also have a rule where we meet the guy first before we invite him over. The sexual energy has to be right or else it throws off the whole sexual experience.” — Coyote, Twitter
Are you in a relationship?
- Yes: 61%
- No: 39%
“The best of love is built on a foundation of friendship and the best sex is built on the foundation of love.” — P-Man, Twitter
“A personal connection with a human being makes sex way better!” — Alejandro, Twitter
How long have you been in a relationship?
- I’m not in a relationship: 39%
- Less than six months: 3%
- Between six months to one year: 3%
- Between one year to three years: 6%
- Between three years to five years: 4%
- Longer than five years: 45%
“I cherish the un-obvious things. The reaction of the married guy’s erection when I touch his hand. The spontaneity of a man ejaculating when I kiss his lips. My desire to surrender to his most intimate areas in an act of breathless submission and recognition that he is man, that we are man, and our desire is need, want, lust, love, renewal, and redemption. A map that guides the way back to being a respected husband and father and bread winner. At least until the next time.” — Stanley, Twitter
Is your relationship monogamous?
- I’m not in a relationship: 39%
- Yes — we’re monogamous: 29%
- No — we’re not monogamous: 32%
“We are monogamous, but together we sometimes play with others.” — anonymous survey respondent.
“We play with other people but only as a couple.” — anonymous survey respondent.
“If I had a relationship it would be monogamous.” — anonymous survey respondent.
“We’ve been in our current relationship for 6 years, married for 4 years, and ethically non-monogamous for 2 years.” — Coyote, Twitter
We’re all different, and what we find sexy or what we fantasise about varies from guy to guy.
“One time, I was in Florida on a family vacation and managed to get away to go to Club Orlando…” remembers @nycboy_cumhole, reflecting on some of his sexual highlights. “I was there for several hours, and took 10 cocks and eight loads. Another time, I was bred by a couple guys at a glory-hole in NYC, then met up with a fuck-buddy who has a nine-inch cock and a sling – he churned their cum in me and added his own. The next day, I met a guy on a hook-up app and was fucked and bred in his office bathroom. Then I went to an adult book-store and took two more loads.”