Bringing a Third Party Into Your Relationship – Beginners’ Edition
Do you feel like you want to stay with your partner but really want to try something new? With someone else? Or do you want to ease into a threesome without actually having to deal with finding, meeting, and getting to know the third man? And let’s face it – the germs of strangers can be pretty triggering for people these days, so if you’re looking for a third person to join your party, now might not be the right time. But take it easy – you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. If you haven’t discussed a threesome or even polyamory with your partner, there are ways in which you can start off “easy.”
We wrote this article to give you some ideas on how to initiate a threesome safely and responsibly. In fact, you might even start off with a sexy video chat or consider getting a realistic sex doll – it’s enough to watch your partner with the idea of someone else to do the trick in the bedroom – your experience will completely change, you’ll break through and have feelings that you could have never imagined, but you won’t have to deal with “the morning after” with an actual third person. So if you’re shy and don’t like to be socially committed, but getting horny for an extra guy in your sex life, read on:
Role-Play and Imagine a Third Person
Role-play is a great way to experiment with different scenarios without actually “doing them” in real life. If you’re not ready to start hooking up with someone else just yet, then role-play is an excellent way to explore your feelings about a threesome without actually committing to it. You could start by role-playing with your partner and acting out the scenario with a third man who isn’t actually there. Or you can go a step further and get a realistic sex doll – silicone sex dolls have come a long way and will give you an idea of what having a third guy in bed might really be like. A step up is getting a Thermoplastic Elastomer Sex Doll (tpe sex doll) for an ultra-realistic feel and look. It will give you both a chance to explore questions like: How does it feel to see or be with the third party? Does it feel exciting? Scary? Dirty? Tell each other how you feel in detail and get feedback from your partner about what you discover.
Watch Porn Together
Do you ever catch your partner watching porn? It is in fact one of the most common habits of men – studies have shown that an average male will watch at least 11,000 hours of pornography in his lifetime. Some may think they’re addicted, but it has been said that porn can be a healthy part of a relationship if watched together. If you don’t want to be too overbearing with your partner, one strategy might be to leave some erotic books and magazines on the coffee table or even a dirty movie hidden in the closet. When you’re in the mood, sit down and watch them together. Maybe you’ll find that it increases your arousal, or maybe you’ll feel uncomfortable. Either way, you will know for sure what is right for you.
Talk About Your Fantasies
There is nothing wrong with having fantasies about other men, as long as you talk about them with your partner. This will help break the ice and get things going in the bedroom. You might be surprised at how much your partner is into the same things as you. For example, if you have always wanted to try out a sex swing or something a little more adventurous like going to a sex party, your partner might be into that too! Once you’ve had this “talk,” you can start taking active steps toward fulfilling your fantasy.
Find a Local Swingers’ Community
If you have done all of this and still want to get adventurous with someone new, it’s time for the real thing – finding people online is one option, but there are always like-minded people who might live closer than you think. Explore the local swingers’ communities, as many of them hold events for men only, and you don’t have to join right away, there are a lot of opportunities to get to know them without having to participate!
If you both agree that it’s time to try something new, you can try being creative and slowly get used to the idea. You don’t have to jump in feet first! Talking about your fantasies, watching porn together, trying out fun toys can be a great intro to trying it for real. Eventually, you can find open-minded people or a local swingers’ community and see if it’s something that will work for you. It’s okay to say “no”, too – remember that if you feel uncomfortable with something, it’s important to say so to your partner. You don’t want to fake having a great time only to realize that it’s gone too far.