Means Happy

Top Menu

  • Contact us
  • Contribute
  • Contributor Terms & Conditions
  • Means Happy
  • Newsletter
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms & Conditions

Main Menu

  • Features
  • Culture
  • #TakeItOnline
  • Heroes
  • Sex & Love
  • How’s Your Gaydar?
  • Events

logo

Means Happy

  • Features
  • Culture
  • #TakeItOnline
  • Heroes
  • Sex & Love
  • How’s Your Gaydar?
  • Events
  • The soft-core gay porn of the Battle of Thermopylae

  • ManCrush: Ty Mitchell

  • RPDR Season 13: Episode 4 – The Recap

  • ManCrush: Carter Dane

  • Pan Bash gets ruined in latest release from Treasure Island Media

Features
Home›Features›How do gay men have sex?

How do gay men have sex?

By Means Happy Newsdesk
December 11, 2020
6209
0
Share:

The latest book from David Ledain is called Having Gay Sex. A title like that gets our attention.

We caught up with David Ledain to talk about my favourite subject.

What was your inspiration for this book?

All my books are about filling a gap. I wrote a book called Gay Dad about men, who, like me, had married a woman and had kids and struggled to recognise their sexuality and how to navigate coming out to their wives and children, because I simply couldn’t find anything out there that told that story to men like me.

Similarly, my new book Having Gay Sex is about demystifying and de-sensationalising what men get up to when they have sex together, because I couldn’t find anything that told me the stories of the men who did.

Gay sexual behaviour is perfectly normal for a significant proportion of the male population, yet it is shrouded in mystery, and this is because, until now, it hasn’t been talked about, and when it has, it is usually in terms of it being dirty, degrading and ‘unnatural’.

Who’s the target audience for the book?

The book does come with a warning – the subject matter and narrative of the book is sexually explicit.

Any young man who thinks that to be gay he has to have anal sex, for instance, or he worries about cruising and the ‘rules’ of engagement, or how to give a blow-job, will get that information. But he will also read the stories of real men who explore all kinds of gay sexual activity, including kink, exhibitionism, naked healing and Tantric massage, and first time experiences.

But it is also a book for any gay man who wants to understand his sexuality and has perhaps thought about a certain activity and wants to know exactly what goes on – things like water-sports, sounding, fetish-wear, anal douching – so much stuff that we’re not told.

You’ve said that the book isn’t a How To guide, but it does get into the mechanics of different aspects of sex between guys. Is this more educational than porn?

I certainly wouldn’t want this book to be interpreted as porn or being pornographic, but it’s not dull in an educational sense.

It’s not a ‘How-to-guide’ in that there are no diagrams or instructions about which bit goes where, but rather a frank discussion, often with the men themselves, about what we all want to know – does anal sex mean pain that you simply have to deal with? Is cum-play safe? Do straight men get off watching other men ejaculate?

What was the research process you followed to put this book together?

Obviously, I brought my own experiences to the book, but I also researched the questions that kept popping up in my head and those that I thought other guys would have but that we simply don’t ask about for fear of being labelled or thought badly of.

My most revealing research was to speak to men who had first-hand experience of these things. It was eye-opening and fascinating.

Does this book give us a fairly comprehensive understanding of what normal gay sex looks like?

Yes, but what is normal? Is it any less normal to immerse oneself in a shadowy life of BDSM, or cruise in a sauna, or have an underwear fetish? All these things are normal for the men who love and embrace that side of their sexuality.

What do you hope that people feel when reading this book?

I hope they see that gay sex is, and can be, a wide spectrum of experiences. That they shouldn’t be ashamed or scared to try something new.

But also, and importantly, that men who do explore their sexuality in all these ways are perfectly ordinary guys, just like them.

Read David Ledain’s book Having Gay Sex

Follow David Ledain on Twitter

Comments

Previous Article

Visa and Mastercard ban use on Pornhub

Next Article

Court in Nigeria dismisses charges brought against ...

Share:

Means Happy Newsdesk

Related articles More from author

  • Features

    Dear Lennie…

    December 20, 2020
    By Lenjamin Levangie-Grainger
  • Features

    Model Watch: Sean Grundy shot by David Broadway

    November 25, 2020
    By Means Happy Newsdesk
  • Features

    ManCrush: Carlos Pons Guerra

    August 4, 2020
    By Means Happy Newsdesk
  • Features

    Keaton Dyson is ready to be your dream bear

    April 22, 2020
    By Gareth Johnson
  • Features

    The camera clearly loves Cameron

    November 9, 2020
    By Means Happy Newsdesk
  • Features

    Mark Rector is turning heads and turning up the heat

    May 27, 2020
    By Means Happy Newsdesk

Leave a reply Cancel reply

  • Sex & Love

    Is bareback sex still a fetish if everyone is doing it?

  • Sex & Love

    Erotic gay fiction from Gaydar: Back to School

  • Features

    Gay gym myths – busted!

  • Recent

  • Popular

  • The soft-core gay porn of the Battle of Thermopylae

    By Gareth Johnson
    January 25, 2021
  • ManCrush: Ty Mitchell

    By Means Happy Newsdesk
    January 25, 2021
  • RPDR Season 13: Episode 4 – The Recap

    By Gareth Johnson
    January 25, 2021
  • ManCrush: Carter Dane

    By Means Happy Newsdesk
    January 25, 2021
  • Pan Bash gets ruined in latest release from Treasure Island Media

    By Means Happy Newsdesk
    January 25, 2021
  • How’s Your Gaydar?

    By Means Happy Newsdesk
    November 23, 2020
  • Bringing to life the homo-eroticism of Greek Mythology

    By Means Happy Newsdesk
    December 12, 2020
  • Real Talk. News. Views. Opinions.

    By Gareth Johnson
    January 25, 2021
  • What’s the history of gay porn?

    By Means Happy Newsdesk
    July 1, 2020
  • Who is Tom of Finland?

    By Means Happy Newsdesk
    November 15, 2020

Gaydar Radio

Find us on Facebook

Upcoming Events

Means Happy

Powered by

  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contributor Terms
  • Advertising & Partnerships
  • Editorial & Contributors
  • Features
  • Culture
  • #TakeItOnline
  • Heroes
  • Sex & Love
  • How’s Your Gaydar?
  • Events
  • Contact us
© Copyright meanshappy
This website uses cookies to improve your user's experience and collect statistics to optimize site functionality. ACCEPT ALL Learn more
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are as essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.