How do you put the romance into lockdown dating?
Wherever you are in the world, the Covid-19 is causing havoc with our everyday lives – including our dates and hook-ups.
Online dating doesn’t necessarily have to involve much emotional commitment, but it’s undeniable that the pandemic creates some extra challenges when we’re trying to put some romance into our lockdown fever-dream.
If you do want to let a guy know that he’s got your attention and that you’d be up for some repeat business, we’ve been workshopping some potential options for your consideration.
What’s a good gay romantic gift?
Okay, this might seem a bit crass, but it’s not a bad move to buy your guy something a bit high-end that he wouldn’t normally wear. A thong may not be something that he’s going to wear to the office, but it could be fun to try on and play around with on date night?
A sex toy
Sure, sex-toys are often a go-to option when you’re by yourself, but they can be a lot of fun to enjoy together. Try and surprise him with something a bit unexpected but that you’re confident he’s going to enjoy. It could be a dildo, something vibrating, or maybe some stylish nipple clamps.
The gym bag
Don’t go for this unless your man is already a totally gym-head. This isn’t about trying to motivate someone to hit the gym, it’s about recognising that the gym is something they love and looking for ways to enhance the experience. A new gym bag is always a bit of a treat, or there’s plenty of gym-related accessories that you could consider. Slutty gym shorts are always a safe option.
A guy can never really have too many grooming products. Put together a package of grooming goodies that are a pleasure to use and also smell good. Look for things that he’ll probably want you to rub all over him.
When it comes to sex, we’re often leading with our nose. If it smells good, we’re going to want to get right up close. We’re obsessed with boutique scent stores. Find something that’s similar to his current aftershave or whatever and then choose something that gives it a bit of a twist or takes it to the next level.
Knot a problem
If he’s ever expressed an interest in a bit of bondage role-play, why not find a way to explore that together. One option is to hire a sex-worker who knows the ropes (literally) and get them to work with you both on how to tie each other up in knots that feel so good.
You’re probably not wearing anything when you actually get into bed, but having some silky sleepwear is a treat for just lounging around the house. Maybe it’s a luxurious robe, or some satiny trousers that are both comfortable and sexy. Find something that makes it an appealing prospect to just spend the day together on the sofa.
Gay date ideas for virtual dating during lockdown
Let’s assume that you’ve already found some guys in your neighbourhood that you’ve got a connection with. You’ve found them on your dating app, your chat has been good, you’ve sent nudes, and there’s a lot of boxes being ticked. If you weren’t in lock-down, you would be sorting out the logistics to meet up.
Don’t assume that you just have to delay everything until some unknown date in the future when things start getting back to whatever our new-normal will be. Why not suggest a virtual date? Here’s some of the virtual date concepts that we’re currently road-testing.
Let’s get coffee?
A coffee catch-up is the first-base of queer dating. You may not be able to get to a cafe to meet up in person, but we’ve all got video apps – take it online!
You’re in your bedroom with your coffee, he’s in his bedroom with his coffee. Chat. Flirt. Get to know each other. Talk about taking things further when you finally get to meet face-to-face.
Cook with me?
He’s in his kitchen cooking dinner, you’re in your kitchen cooking dinner.
Maybe you agree to cook the same thing? Maybe it’s a competition – you’ve each got the same ingredients, whoever makes the best dish wins? Maybe he gets to tell you what to cook and you get to tell him?
You find a lot out about someone when you see them in action in the kitchen.
Want to have some fun?
It used to be called Skype Sex, but no one uses Skype anymore – there’s a world of video apps out there.
Essentially, you’re both going to get naked and get off at the same time.
It’s been scientifically proven that regular masturbation helps to boost your immune system. Mutual masturbation – even if it’s virtual – is just as good for your health.
Let’s go dancing!
Get your disco lights out, fire up the speakers and blast out some beats. Take it in turns to choose the tracks, or one of you puts together a DJ set for the other.
Dance like no one is watching, but you know that he’s watching every move you make.
Netflix and chill?
He may not be able to come over to snuggle with you on the sofa, but you can make a plan to watch a movie at the same time and then talk about it afterwards.
If you’re stuck in the house, why not set some time aside when you have a spa day together – he’s in his bathroom and you’re in yours.
Face-masks, body scrubs, foot massages – the lot!
Talk dirty to me!
Ask him what he’s into. Get him to tell you what he he’d do to you and what he wants you to do to him. Get into all the details and get a bit filthy with your chat.
By spending time talking together and visualising how it’s going to go down when you do finally get it on, you’re building the anticipation, the expectation, and the sexual tension.
Date ideas for dudes dreaming of a dick-down
When we’re not in the middle of pandemic, heading out somewhere cool for dinner is a bit of a default option. But, given that’s not an option, why not put on an apron and get busy in the kitchen?
Even if you’re not the world’s greatest cook, making the effort to prepare a special meal for you and your beau is a classy move. It could also be something that would be fun to do together.
A couples’ massage is one of our fail-safe date night suggestions. However, paying a professional is probably off the menu while we’re in lockd0wn.
What about creating your own spa day? Break out the massage oil, fire up the candles and the whale music, and get to work on each other.
The feasibility of this depends on the lockdown rules where you are. In the UK, this is probably a non-starter.
The concept is to hire a limo for a couple of hours, grab a bottle of champagne, and get driven around for a bit while you live it up in the back seat.
Going to the theatre is a fail-safe thing to do on date night, but what do you do if theatres are all closed?
Find a way to bring the theatre into your home. There’s lots of online options. Get dressed up, get a bit glamorous. Open the champagne and get into it.
At the very least, it will give you something to talk about other the spreadsheets you’ve been working on or whose turn it is to clean the bathroom.
Why not use date night as an opportunity to explore your sexual fantasies? Talk about what turns each of you on, figure out the logistics of how you could explore some of those fantasies together. Maybe you need to buy some toys, find some role-play fetish-wear, or hire a sex-worker to help make it happen.
What about a dance class? It could be Salsa or Argentine Tango – something that gets you moving together, figuring it out together. It doesn’t matter if you’re rubbish at it, it’s all about having fun with each other and giving it a go.
There’s online options out there. Maybe just check with the downstairs neighbour before you invest in a pair of tap shoes.
In non-pandemic times, one of our favourite date night treats is to book a posh hotel room. It’s often more fun than going out for dinner – you get to order room-service, lounge around in fluffy bathrobes, slurp on champagne that you’ve smuggled in.
But, like most things, that might not be possible in a lockdown.
We might not be able to book into a hotel during lockdown, but you can still create a bit of a pamper experience at home. How about a luxurious bath together? There could be rose petals, a bath bomb, some candles, and a glass of champagne to put you in the mood for anything and everything.