Davey Wavey and the End of Ageism
The film features Norm Self. Having made his gay porn debut at the age of 83, Norm is now a year older and back in front of the camera for Himeros.tv.
I caught up with Davey Wavey to talk about the film.
After you launched Norm Self’s gay porn career with your film Blessings of the Elder, you’ve said that it was feedback from your audience that led to this second film featuring Norm?
The vast majority of viewers were inspired and empowered by Norm’s presence in the film. The reality is, if we’re not old yet — we’re all on our way! In that way, I think Norm’s message can really resonate with everyone. There was some negative feedback. In a world that puts youth on a pedestal, I understand that seeing an elderly man masturbate could evoke some pretty strong reactions, and that it can be challenging for some viewers.
Starting with the intention of featuring Norm in a Himeros film but this time it not being a solo scene, what was the creative process that led you to the scenario that we see in this scene?
In Norm’s debut video, he states that at 83 years of age, he’s having the best sex of his life. Some viewers noted that if Norm is really having the best sex of his life, it would be more powerful to see him having it — rather than masturbating by himself. So, we decided to create a sequel. Filming happened during Himeros.tv’s so-called Tantric Retreat For Porn Stars. We had a very honest and open discussion with our models about their relationship with age and ageism in the gay community. For filming, we asked each model to push against — but not cross — whatever boundaries they have when it comes to age.
Was there a specific reason you went with an intergenerational encounter?
Ageism is present on a lot of levels. It’s not just young people that are ageist against older populations — ageism is present with older people, too. However, we felt that the message would be more powerful if we showed younger gay men — people who embody society’s definition of beauty — interacting with someone significantly older. We thought this contrast would really challenge people — I think we accomplished that!
What was the casting process for the four actors who appear in this scene with Norm?
We knew that we had to find mindful, open models who were interested not just in creating a hot video — but in embodying a message. These models were incredibly vulnerable, compassionate and friendly — I think all of that translates to the film.
The tone and style of this film had almost a vintage porn feel — it’s a bit dream-like. Is that to position the film more as ‘erotica’ as opposed to porn?
The intention in porn is to get you off. While I think this video can accomplish that, the intention here is also to share a message. I’d put this in the category of erotica. It does feel like a dream because ending ageism is exactly that — it’s a hope and a dream for our community.
Is Norm’s porn career picking up momentum? Will we see more films featuring Norm?
Norm is a very special being with so many gifts to share with the world. While we don’t have any future videos currently planned for Norm, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him again on Himeros.tv — or elsewhere!
Is intergenerational encounters something that you’re going to continue exploring with Himeros.tv?
We explore everything and almost anything on Himeros.tv. Intergenerational relationships are a popular theme, and it’s an area rich for content. In general, we’re making an effort to showcase a wide range of models so that people can see, in addition to the porn stars they love, reflections of themselves on the site. The reality is, we’re not all 20-year-old men with nine inch dicks and six pack abs.
What do you hope that people feel when watching End of Ageism?
All of us have our own definitions of what is sexy and what is beautiful. Those definitions really feel like they come from us, but I think it’s worth asking ourselves if those definitions have been shaped — in any way — by the world around us. Perhaps the magazines we read, the Instagram accounts we see, and the media we consume have influenced what we find to be sexy. Maybe our definition of sexy really isn’t ours at all. It’s my hope that this video encourages people to define sexy for themselves and discover beauty in unexpected places.
I also spoke with Norm Self to talk about his role in the film.
What sort of response did you receive to your first film with Himeros.tv?
I was amazed at the geographic spread from which responses came, and the affirmation in their content. Four major media — London, Paris, New York, and San Francisco — gave me interviews and published them. A radio talk-show from Tampa, Florida, had me as a guest, several individual responders, and a showing to invited guests here in Asheville — all were supportive in their response to the video. I also heard of others from around the US who had seen and were pleased by the video.
How did you feel when Himeros.tv asked you to be part of a second film?
It was indeed gratifying and confirming for me — not just for my personal contribution, but as acknowledgement by significant figures in the gay culture that ours is quite a significant subject for exploration and modelling for an important segment of the population.
It looked like a fun group to be part of? Was it a long day of filming?
The fun you saw the players having in the video wasn’t staged. It had become an earmark of our little videographic community — that we really enjoyed and cared for each other, and that the quality of relationship that you see us sharing here is available to anyone who wants to be pro-active and generate it in their own life! The day of shooting didn’t seem at all long — just an ‘eternal moment of joy’ being shared by a group of men who had set aside arbitrary judgements about age to sink into the pleasures of enjoying our embodied, erotic selves.
What do you hope that people feel when watching this film?
Excited, attracted, empowered, sexy, and confident in their own capacity to create erotic joy!