What will you find in the weekly newsletter from Means Happy?
Sign up for our Friday newsletter and each week we’ll email you a handy round-up of some of our favourite stories.
To be honest, we’re not going to be tackling the big issues of the day. It’s probably best to see our newsletter as a bit of a distraction – something a bit lighthearted to take your mind off the stuff that’s stressing you out. It’s mostly just guys being cute AF.
Is it safe for work? Probably not.
Will there be nudes? Obviously.
Take your online dating game next-level
There’s nothing easy about online dating – it takes time, persistence, and resilience. You can’t sit back and wait for offers of dates and hook-ups to just come knocking, you’ve got to be proactive.
It’s important that you’re putting the technology to work and that you’re using all of the tools at your disposal.
Unlock Gaydar’s VIP Membership for features such as power search, see-who-viewed-my-profile, and adult pictures to make sure that you’re giving yourself the best chance of success.
Why is dating gay guys so hard?
The casual and open nature of guy-on-guy of hookups, sexual encounters, and some relationships can be incredibly liberating, but – for many of us that identify as queer – the ups and downs of trying to meet other guys can be a frustrating and isolating experience.
Learning from our past
For queer guys, hooking up has always required a bit of ingenuity. In years gone by, tactics included signals, codes, a secret language, beats, and cruising grounds. In life before the internet, personal ads were a key strategy – writing letters, waiting for responses – the success rate was low, but it undoubtedly was worth the effort.
With the decriminalisation of homosexuality in many countries across the world, the rise of LGBTQ bars and safe spaces made it easier for queer people to meet each other – drawing queer people together in the bigger cities, creating a queer ‘scene’ and a sense of community.
Unleashing the power of dating apps
The rise of the internet and the shift to online dating sites such as Gaydar was a huge leap forward from the days of the personal ads. This evolution of queer dating was accelerated even further by the emergence of the smart-phone and the innovation of location-based dating apps – a total game-changer.
Location-based dating apps enabled us to quickly and easily identify guys who were close and that were looking for a hookup. A quick chat, and – if you were both on the same page – then you could quickly sort out the logistics. The power of smart-phones making it surprisingly easy and convenient to have sex, wherever you are.
Looking for something more than a hook-up?
What do you do if you want more than just a quick, one-off sexual encounter. What if you actually want to find that special someone – someone to go out for dinner with, to the movies, or a weekend away on a romantic mini-break? What do you do if you’re not into bars, clubs, or casual on-line hookups?
Here’s some suggestions:
Get out there
You’re not going to meet anyone by sitting at home in your flat, eating ice-cream, looking out the window, and listening to Adele’s latest album on repeat. Finding someone that you want to spend time with takes some effort, and you have to put yourself in situations where you’re meeting new people.
Meet new people
As a general rule, your friends aren’t going to have sex with you. It can be comfortable doing the same old things with people that ‘get you’ and make you laugh, but if you want to make a change in your life then you need to push yourself to be doing new things, in different places, with people you haven’t met before.
Try something different
Take up a new activity that puts you in contact with other LGBTQ people. This could be a queer sports club, a community organisation, a singing group, or a charity.
Why not go on a group vacation or expedition aimed at queer people? You may not want to sleep with any of the people that you meet, but dating is a bit of a numbers game. It’s worth a shot.
Don’t take it personally
Don’t take it too seriously if it doesn’t work out. Queer guys are notoriously flighty and flakey. Enjoy the moment – enjoy your time together. If one of you decides that it’s time to move on, it’s okay to be upset or disappointed, but it’s not the end of the world. Pick yourself up and put yourself back out there.