Regardless of what time of year it is, it’s never a bad idea to take some time out to take stock, set yourself some goals, and figure out how you’re going to make some progress towards your health and fitness aspirations.

Thanks to fashion, movies, and porn, it’s the lean and defined look that  most gay men see as aspirational, and sexually attractive. That can be a bit of mind-fuck for those of us who are bigger guys with curves and swerves.

Contrary to the promises peddled by fitness magazines and Insta influencers, transforming your body into a lean and defined physique is not just a case of doing a few sit ups to “Get rock hard abs in seven days!” But also it’s not rocket science — it requires a fair bit of structured exercise and a tightly controlled diet.

When you say it quickly it sounds easy, but the reality of that is working out in the gym pretty much every day and being super-strict with your diet.

It can be good for your self-esteem to get compliments on your body, but if all you’ve got to talk about it is how much you lifted at the gym and what you can’t eat, then you’re not going to be much fun to date.

It’s not surprising that one of the key pillars of our self-esteem is our perception of how we look.

Whether or not you feel confident or good about yourself as a person is likely to be strongly influenced by whether you feel that you look good and, perhaps even more importantly, whether you feel that other people think you look good.

As gay men, we’ve set this bar fairly high for ourselves.

There’s always been a high proportion of our people who are prepared to put the hours in at the gym in order to stay lean and strong. Additionally, the ripped physiques of our porn stars make it hard to imagine having sex with someone who doesn’t have huge arms, massive legs, and a butt so tight that it could crack a walnut.

All of this has been heightened in recent years by the wave of location-based dating apps which rely on a killer profile pic in order to initiate contact — consistently reinforcing that your appearance is what gets you noticed, that your appearance is what attracts others guys, and that your appearance defines who you are.

It’s too simplistic to glibly say: “Don’t worry about it!” “You need to love who you are!” “You’ve got a beautiful soul!” “You’re so funny!” None of that makes you feel any better if you’re struggling to find the intimacy and sexual connection that we all need.

If you’re spending another night alone, it’s almost impossible not to assume that things could be different if you looked more like the porn stars that fuel your fantasies.

There’s no easy answer on any of this.

The bottom line is that you’ve got to find what’s right for you. There’s nothing wrong with trying to be a bit healthier. Keeping your body active – even if it’s just an occasional walk around the park – helps to boost your immune system and your mental health.

But there’s no point torturing yourself with extreme workouts unless that’s what you want to do.

Set yourself some achievable, measurable goals, and get started.

How do you choose a gym?

If you haven’t spent much time in a gym before, they can sometimes feel like fairly intimidating spaces – lots of different bits of equipment that you’re not sure how to use, over-confident personal trainers, and big guys grunting as they determinedly pump iron in the free-weights area. There’s a lot going on.

There’s a couple of simple ways in which you feel a bit more comfortable and confident in any gym.

• Ask for a tour. If you’re thinking about signing up to a gym, they’ll eagerly give you a tour of all of their facilities.
• Ask for an induction session. Most gyms will offer new and prospective members and induction session in which a trainer will show you how to use the equipment that they have.
• Sign up for a class. Group classes are a good way to give your gym time some focus and help you to familiarise yourself with how everything works.
• Set yourself a plan for your session. If you know what you want to do before you enter the gym, you’re going to be more focused and confident about going about your work-out.
• Book some sessions with a personal trainer. A personal trainer will set a work-out plan for you and then work with you to show you how to use the equipment and make sure that your technique is going to deliver results.

Wherever you live, there will be a lot of different gyms all competing for your time and money. But how do you decide which is the right one for you?

There’s really three key factors that you should focus on:

• Location: Does the location of the gym facilitate you getting there on a regular basis?
• Cost: Is the membership within your budget?
• Value: What sort of facilities does the gym have? What sort of support do they offer? What classes are offered? What are the other members like? Will this gym help you achieve your health and fitness goals?

Different styles of gyms are offering different propositions. Low-cost budget gyms tend to offer the space to workout and the equipment, but in general that’s it – there’s no support here so those who need motivating a touch more may be best off aiming a little higher. A mid-market facility offers more of a support platform and certainly a friendly atmosphere with more interaction and familiarity. The high-end gyms include all of this, along with added facilities such as child-care, tennis courts, or swimming pools.

Whether a gym is the right fit for you will often come down to how you feel when you’re there. Do you feel part of a club? Do you feel supported? First impressions make a big impact and if you don’t feel comfortable in the environment then you’re much less likely to want to make enough visits to make an impact on your fitness routine.

The best strategy is to try before you buy. Most gyms will offer some sort of trial sessions or introductory package so that you can make sure that it’s the right fit before you lock yourself in to an extended contract.

Once you’ve found a gym that works for you, the next step is to figure out how to stay motivated and keep going. Variety is a good starting point. Gyms offer a range of training concepts — from personal trainers, to classes, to small workouts, to one-on-one. This variety of classes ensures you don’t get bored with doing the same workout, and also benefits the body from working new muscle groups. Connecting with people, and finding others who want to achieve the same goal is also very useful, as it can add the benefits of sharing tips and even a healthy sense of competition and challenge to your workout.

Gay gym myths – busted!

What exactly should you be doing in your workout?

While it’s important to try and stay up-to-date with the latest fitness thinking and health developments, it’s easy to be confused by the huge range of magazines and online experts all purporting to offer the miracle work-out. Even your friends, your work-out buddies, and your Instagram crushes are likely to have competing views as to what works and what doesn’t.

In the interests of research, we sat down with a couple of strength and conditioning coaches to drink green tea and quiz them about what we should really be focusing on in order to get the buffed-up beach body that we’re aspiring to.

Myth: I need to do sit-ups to get great abs.

Busted: Sit-ups are actually a waste of time . The reality is that everyone has abdominal muscles, but unless your diet and exercise regime enables you to be lean, you can’t see the definition.

Tip: Incorporating interval training into your work-out three times a week will help you drop body-fat and get you on the way to revealing your abs in all their glory.

Myth: I want to look leaner so I need to do a lot of cardio.

Busted: Consistent aerobic training is actually counter-productive for burning off fat. Excessive aerobic training is likely to increase cortisol levels – a stress hormone that contributes to abdominal fat.

Tip: Interval training  –  whether it be sprints or incomplete recovery between resistance exercises  -  will ensure you achieve an anaerobic state during your workout. Anaerobic training is intense enough to cause lactate to form. Anaerobic training is far superior for dropping body-fat and increasing lean muscle.

Myth: Exercising on a Swiss-ball will help improve my core strength.

Busted: While a Swiss-ball can be a useful tool when integrated into a training programme, you’ll get much better results by training your lower back muscles.

Tip: Your lower back is an extremely important foundation of your core strength  –  focus on deadlifts, good-mornings, and hyperextensions for instant results.

Myth: I want to build my upper body so I’ll spend less time on my legs.

Busted: If you want to develop a great upper body you’ll get the results faster by training your lower body just as hard.

Tip: Training the big powerful muscles in your legs will push your body to increase testosterone levels  -  testosterone is a male-dominant hormone that is essential for muscle gain. Grab some dumbbells and get lunging and you’ll soon start to see improved results from all those bicep curls.

Myth: I want to get lean so I need a low-fat diet.

Busted: A low-fat diet may actually be hindering your attempts to drop body fat. Essential fats, such as those high in Omega three  -  such as fish, olive oil, and avocado – are extremely important for switching on fat-burning cells and switching off fat-storing cells.

Tip: Ensure you’re following a balanced diet that includes plenty of ‘good fats’ but make sure you avoid the trans fats found in highly processed foods. Cakes, biscuits and yellow non-dairy spreads are out!

Myth: Protein shakes are bad for you.

Busted: While protein shakes have had some bad press, quality products are fine and are still the best way to support the body during post work-out recovery and to maximise muscle gain.

Tip: Look for products that use natural whey from grass-fed cows, and that are sugar and aspartamine free. Post work-out protein shakes can help to increase natural growth hormones, assist in replenishing glycogen stores, and support cell regeneration and muscle growth.

Myth: I need to be in the gym every day in order to stay in shape.

Busted: Allowing your body to rest and recover is just as important as pumping iron. Over-training can limit your body’s development and lead to injury.

Myth: I need to suffer this gruelling task and hate every minute of it.

Busted: There’s no reason as to why exercise should feel inherently unenjoyable. If you find after a few sessions that you dislike running, try rowing or swimming. If you prefer to lift weights, do that. What matters is putting in a consistent effort. You can learn to love working out for this reason. Also – don’t be afraid to reward yourself for keeping your discipline up, such as considering types of mens bracelets you can use as a treat to yourself for being so resilient.

Tip: Mix it up to keep it interesting. Limit your resistance and weight training to three sessions per week. On the other days focus on sprints, swimming, or get on the bike and go for some interval cycling.

What’s the deal with steroids?

What are steroids?

When we’re talking about steroids, we’re referring to anabolic steroids.

You may hear steroids referred to as roids, gear, sauce, or juice.

They’re a synthetic version of testosterone. Testosterone is the male hormone that we naturally produce. Steroids are the manufactured version of that.

While the power of testosterone has been known for centuries, human trials of a synthetic version – which we now know as steroids – begin in the 1930s. Research continued in the post-war period.

While there are legitimate medical uses for steroids, because of their benefits in building muscle, they soon became associated with gaining an unfair advantage in sports and bodybuilding.

Are steroids legal?

You need to check the laws that apply where you are. In general, it’s probably not illegal to possess steroids, but is illegal to supply steroids.

How common is steroid use?

If you’re talking to gay men who are into their fitness, the use of steroids is surprisingly common.

It’s generally from contacts at the gym that most gay men obtain their steroids.

Do you need steroids to build an impressive physique?

No. Not everyone with an impressive body is using steroids. Muscle bulk and building a lean and strong physique can be achieved with a controlled diet and plenty of resistance training.

Steroids are a way of accelerating the process. It’s a short cut.

What’s the relationship between porn and steroids?

Gay erotica has long celebrated a hyper-masculine physique. The work of Tom of Finland is an obvious example.

Erotica and porn visually articulates the way that the complicated relationship we have with sexuality and masculinity shapes what we find desirable.

In simple terms, gay men seem to have a tendency to associate a muscular and hyper-masculine physique as being desirable – that’s what gets people’s attention, and that’s when we feel validated.

How do you take steroids?

Steroids can be taken as pills, or as a liquid that you inject into your body – usually into the muscle of your butt.

Most guys take steroids as cycles – you take them for a period of weeks, then you come off them to rest your body, and then you begin again.

What are the risks with steroids?

Because it’s generally illegal to supply steroids, you’re obtaining your steroids on the black market – it’s unregulated. There’s no guarantee of what you’re getting.

Different types of steroids can deliver different results.

For example, there are animal or horse steroids – these deliver enormous muscle growth but have huge health risks associated with them.

Before you even contemplate taking steroids, you need to ensure that your body is healthy. You should have a medical check-up to ensure that your liver, heart, and kidneys are all functioning properly. If you’re taking steroids, you should have regular medical check-ups so that you can detect any negative side-effects you may be experiencing as a result of the steroids. Negative side-effects could include liver disease, heart disease, high blood pressure, risk of stroke, water retention, digestive problems, high cholesterol, prostate problems.

If you’re taking medication to manage your HIV, make sure you get advice from your doctor before trying steroids.

When you’re taking steroids, you need to increase the amount of water that you’re drinking – you need to help your body flush out the additional waste products that are being created as a result of steroid use.

When you’re using steroids, you’re likely to have acne-like spots on your back. You may experience permanent hair loss, and you may have difficulty sleeping.

Steroids will mess with your sex drive. At different points of the cycle you may have a higher sex drive, but generally your sex drive will be lower. You may have difficulty maintaining and erection and you may find it difficult to orgasm.

It’s likely that your balls will shrink.

Steroids can be addictive. You are likely to experience mood swings, including outbursts of aggression. Use of steroids may trigger mental health issues, such as depression. Steroids can contribute to body dysmorphia.

Is there any benefit in Intermittent Fasting?

If you read enough magazines, websites, blogs or twitter posts, things can get pretty confusing. That’s true for just about any aspect of life, but undeniable when we’re talking about health and fitness stuff here.

One of the hot topics that crops up from time to time is “intermittent fasting”.

Essentially this is the debate about the perfect meal frequency to support your fitness

In recent years, the accepted school of thought has been that in order to minimise insulin spikes the best bet is to eat small meals throughout the day. But, recently, there has been a bit of a movement to de-bunk this theory.

Some studies have shown that by reducing the number of meals that the body has to process, then the easier it is for the body to lower blood sugar levels. This line of thinking has been taken further to the suggestion that going without food for substantial periods will aid weight loss and support a healthy lifestyle.

The trouble with intermittent fasting is that while it may have some benefits in terms of weight loss, it is going to undermine all of the hard work you are doing to build and maintain lean muscle. The body needs to get its energy – not only for day-to-day activity but also for cell regeneration. The body gets its energy either from the intake of food or from energy reserves. So, if you’re fasting, then you’re not taking in the protein you need to rebuild muscle cells and generate new muscle cells.

Bottom line – intermittent fasting can be a useful way to help you lose weight, but be prepared for some muscle loss in the process.

The importance of balance

In the world of health and fitness you hear a lot about “balance”.

Having a balanced approach to your health is however only one aspect — unless you have balance in your life then your health will suffer.

One popular approach at the moment is to see your health as one of the core pillars of your life — others would include: work, family, relationship, hobbies or interests, friends, and finance

If one of your pillars is weak or under stress, you can cope if the other pillars in your life are strong.

If you’ve got some time on your hands, draw up a bit of a life map — what are your core pillars? How stable are they? Where are your weak spots? What do you need to change to improve things?

By getting a bit of perspective and realising where your strengths and weaknesses are, you’ll be better placed to cope when things go wrong. If you suddenly lose your job, it won’t seem like the end of the world if you know that you’re financially secure and have plenty of support from family and friends. If your relationship is rocky, put your energy into your hobby or other interests, or throw yourself into work and draw strength from the things you can control.

The worst thing to do is to let your entire world crumble at the first sign of trouble — you often hear of people becoming depressed if they lose their job or their boyfriend dumps then — before you know it you’re eating Krispy Kremes by the boxful, wearing yesterday’s underpants and spending Saturday night in front of the tele with a bottle of bourbon. I’m speaking from personal experience, obviously.

The bottom line is, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Make sure that you’re giving attention to all the pillars in your life – you never know when you’ll need them to hold you up.

Should I be taking supplements?

If your goals are to be healthy and to be lean and strong (and for most people that is the aspiration these days), then regular resistance training in the gym (plus some interval training for cardio fitness) is only half the story.

Eating the right foods at the right time is just as important.

In an ideal world you would be eating a balanced diet, getting all the nutrients and nutrition you need from freshly prepared, organic meat and vegetables — smallish meals 4–5 times per day, high in protein, low in carbohydrates.

The reality is though that we all lead busy lives, we’re juggling a range of priorities and it can be very difficult to find the time or head space to ensure that you are getting the right nutrients (and quantities) in order to achieve your fitness goals.

This is where supplements come in.

Used correctly there is nothing wrong with supplements — they’re not cheating or in any way damaging your body. The right supplements are merely topping up your diet to the levels that your body requires. Anything that your body doesn’t need will simply pass through the digestive system.

If you’re just starting out, the important thing is not to over-complicate things.

First question is — where are you going to buy stuff?

The product range offered by your gym is generally over-priced. If you’ve got a decent health food store near you then they will have everything you need. Alternatively there are a huge range of online retailers who offer a comprehensive range of products for every level of training.

Need a basic starter pack? Try the following:

• Fish Oil
• L.Glutamine
• Zinc

Try those for four weeks and then review your progress, assess where you’re at against your goals and talk to an expert about your nutrition — as your training develops and becomes more advanced then you need to adjust your balanced diet accordingly.

Does fitness fuel your fantasies?

Are you into a fitness fantasy? Do you fancy a bit of action with your workout buddy?

There’s always a lot of sexual tension when you’re working out in the gym. Guys not wearing much, showing off to each other, wanting to impress.

It doesn’t take much imagination to see how that physical intensity spills over into something more.

One of our favourite gym porn fantasies is a scene filmed by Corbin Fisher. It’s a group of guys working out together – just in their shorts. A pull-up competition is arranged – the losers have to suck dick. Pretty soon, everyone is naked, everyone is getting fucked, and then one lucky guy gets to take everyone’s load. Quality.

Fitness tips for beefy boys

Three things to remember when you’re exercising in the gym.

You’ll get most benefit (in terms of fitness and strength) from working your major muscle groups — that means legs, legs, legs.

There’s little point in spending ages plodding along on a treadmill or an exercise bike. You need to work on interval training — short sharp bursts of intense activity with quick recovery time. You can still use the cardio equipment but use it smartly.

The best time for your body to absorb protein is after exercise, so after your workout it makes sense to grab a protein shake. Avoid buying ready-made drinks. Invest in a shaker and make your own — try and avoid sweeteners and flavours.

Is fat shredding a thing?

One of my friends recently asked me about fat shredding. It was after an extended family holiday in Australia, and then a glamorous beach vacation in Thailand — he was feeling that he needed some serious “fat shredding” before he could pull on a pair of speedos and get back in the pool.

His starting point was a website called Simply Shredded. I checked it out and there was a list of 18 tips — on the face of it you wouldn’t argue with any of them. For example:

8. Increase vegetable and fruit consumption

10. Keep carbs moderate

16. Drink plenty of water

All sensible stuff.

The challenges with this type of regime is that it requires a level of structure, discipline and time that most people – particularly those of us who are in full time employment – can’t cope with; and it’s creating a (false) perception that achieving the “shredded” look is as simple as diet, exercise and supplements.

Your objectives need to be realistic and your results need to be sustainable — messing around with the first four suggestions from Simply Shredded, which were:

1. Use a thermogenic product

2. Take a fat mobiliser

3. Use an appetite suppressant

4. Try a thyroid enhancer

…should be left to the professional fitness models (who would generally only resort to drastic measures such as these when preparing for a major photo shoot).

Keep it simple — get lean and stay healthy through persistence with a sharp diet, structured resistance and interval training.

You may not be shredded but you’ll be happier.

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