As far back as 1980, studies began to show that gay men seemingly have more erotic fantasies than heterosexuals, both when they are having sex with a partner and when they are masturbating. There are many other differences that suggest that gay men are mainly turned on by visual stimuli, with additional studies showing that imagery plays a crucial role in sexuality, as do specific sexual fantasies. When it comes to fantasies, what does science have to say about gay men’s favorite scenarios, interests and habits?

Gay Men Fantasize About Having More Than One Sexual Partner

Schmitt and colleagues revealed that gay men enjoy fantasizing about having more than one sexual partner than straight men, but less than those who are bisexual. Those who are into risk taking have fantasies about having unprotected sex. Others fantasize about having sex with someone else while they are in a romantic relationship. This can occur alongside other fantasies such as group sex and voyeurism. Being unfaithful is actually a fantasy that is commonly enjoyed by heterosexual people as well.

The Subjects Of Fantasy Among Gay Men In The BDSM Community

A review of recent studies on gay men’s sexual desire and fantasy (by F Maria Nimbi and colleagues) has found that gay men in the BDSM community have a high rate of fantasies about wearing leather outfits, wrestling, uniforms and special equipment, rimming, and using men’s dildos or sex toys. The demand for sex toys, meanwhile, has been matched by fleshlights and other toys that are more realistic in their sensation and texture. This, in turn, has led many influencers and social media stars to openly advertise and discuss their favorite toys, with many companies relying on influencer codes for discounts, or marketing their launches in line with classic seasons for discounts. Men in the BDSM community also report a higher satisfaction rate and less anxiety or worry about their sexuality than their peers. As stated in Nimbi’s review, “giving space to personal erotic fantasies, sharing and exploring them in a safe environment might have a positive outcome on sexual satisfaction and quality of life.”

What Factors Can Heighten Sexual Desire?

Coming out and being open about sexuality is thought to foster a positive social climate for gay men, while hiding fantasies can lead to lesser sexual satisfaction. Other factors that have negatively affected gay men over the years include the fear of contracting HIV, with its associated stigma. HIV treatment has advanced considerably over the years, of course, but there continues to be a fear that strongly affects gay men’s sexuality. Attitudes to sex are also key. Men who see sex as an abusive power play have higher rates of dysfunction than those who do not. Finally, the use of drugs (although risky and harmful) “may allow a pleasurable experience for some gay men.”

For decades, researchers have aimed to highlight the differences in sexual desire in an aim to obtain a more holistic understanding of how gay men think and feel about sex. Findings show that there are marked differences between how gay and straight men view sexuality. This is the case both in the BDSM and non-BDSM gay communities, both of which tend to enjoy greater satisfaction when their attitudes to sexuality and fantasy are positive.

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