Is My Boyfriend Cheating on Me? 8 Red Flags

Is my boyfriend cheating? No one wants to think that the person they’re in a relationship with has eyes for anyone else. But, unfortunately, cheating is a reality in many relationships.

If you angrily read tips on how to open a snap without them knowing or ways to call someone without their phone secretly, it’s likely that you’re already aware of the possibility that your partner is cheating on you with another man.

However, do not rush to conclusions – sometimes, our imagination can play tricks on us. This post will help you determine whether your fears are justified and what to do in this situation.

I Noticed Signs He’s Cheating, but It Was Too Late

“It was a warm summer night, and my boyfriend and I had just finished having dinner at a new restaurant downtown. We were walking hand in hand, taking in the sights and sounds of the city around us, when he suddenly stopped and said he needed to make a phone call. I didn’t think much of the signs he’s cheating at the time, but looking back, that was the moment everything changed.

He stepped away from me to make the call, but I could tell something was wrong. He spoke in hushed tones and kept glancing around as if he didn’t want me to hear what he was saying. When he finally returned, he wouldn’t meet my gaze and hurried us home without another word. That’s when I knew something was definitely up.

I spent the next few days trying to figure out what was going on, but it wasn’t until I found a pair of men’s boxer briefs in his laundry that I put two and two together. My heart sank as the truth hit me like a ton of bricks—my boyfriend was cheating on me with another man.

I waited until he came home and confronted him about what I had found. My only question was, “Is he cheating on me?” He tried to deny it at first, but when I showed him the evidence, he couldn’t deny it. We argued for hours until he finally admitted that he had been seeing someone else behind my back.

The betrayal hurt more than anything I had ever experienced in my life. I never thought that my boyfriend would be capable of cheating on me, let alone with another man. I still don’t know why he did it. But I do know that our relationship was never the same after that.” – Emily L.

Related article: DOES MONOGAMY HAVE ANY RELEVANCE FOR TODAY’S GAY MEN?

The Psychologist’s Perspective

There are many possible explanations for why your boyfriend cheated on you with another man. He could have been exploring his sexuality and wasn’t ready to come out to you as gay or bisexual.

Or he could have been unhappy with your relationship and used the opportunity to cheat to end things without having to confront you directly about it. You hadn’t had the chance to notice the signs your boyfriend is cheating.

I’m deeply sorry that you had to go through such a painful experience. It’s important to remember that your attractiveness, intelligence, and worth as a person are not in any way diminished by what happened. If anything, this is a reflection of your boyfriend’s issues and insecurities, not yours.

The psychology of a cheater does not depend on his sexual orientation. In other words, your behavior couldn’t evoke or encourage his infidelity. As I mentioned before, he couldn’t be aware of what was happening on a conscious level.

This is not an excuse for his behavior, of course. But it might help you understand it a little better. This post can also give you a clue: WHEN SHOULD YOU TELL YOUR DATE THAT YOU’RE BISEXUAL?

Could you notice some red flags before he cheated? It’s common for people who are considering cheating to exhibit certain behaviors beforehand. I’ll give you and our readers some examples in the next section.

Eight Signs of Cheating Boyfriend

How to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you? Infidelity is never easy to deal with. But if you suspect that your boyfriend is cheating on you, there are some signs you can look out for.

1. He’s become distant and withdrawn.

One of the first signs that something is off is when your partner suddenly becomes distant and withdraws from you emotionally and physically. If he’s usually very affectionate and loving but has recently started pulling away, it could be a sign that he’s interested in someone else.

This is especially true if he’s also become more secretive about his phone and computer usage or is working longer hours “at the office.”

2. He has new friends—and they’re all guys.

A sudden change in social behavior can also indicate that your partner is interested in someone else. If he starts hanging out with a new group of friends—and they’re all guys—it could mean that he’s found a new circle to run with…one that doesn’t include you.

This is especially true if he starts making plans without you or stops inviting you to events that he usually would have included you in before. However, you can get a list of places he could have been by checking out this article.

3. Your sex life has taken a nose-dive.

Is my boyfriend cheating on me? If your partner suddenly loses interest in having sex with you or starts making excuses not to get physical, it could be because he’s getting his needs met elsewhere.

A decrease in sexual activity can also be accompanied by a decrease in intimacy overall. If your partner seems more distant and less interested in spending time with you, he may have found someone else to connect with on a deeper level.

4. He’s acting suspiciously…and gets caught red-handed.

Perhaps the most obvious sign that your partner is cheating is if you catch him red-handed! If you notice strange charges on joint credit card statements or find questionable items in his possession (like hotel room keys), there’s a good chance he’s been stepping out behind your back.

Likewise, if you catch him lying about where he was or who he was with, it’s likely because he knows he’s done something wrong and is trying to cover his tracks.

5. He showers you with gifts and attention…out of guilt.

Is he cheating? If your partner is unfaithful, he may try to win your favor by being extra attentive and generous. While it’s normal for partners to do nice things for each other occasionally, beware if he goes overboard with the gifts and affection out of nowhere.

This could be his way of easing his own guilty conscience. You can differ whether it is an average gift or something more significant. If your partner is not a very giving person, it might be a sign that he’s trying to make up for something.

Related article: MY BREAKUP REALISATION: I WAS THE RED FLAG

6. He’s always on his phone and he’s being secretive about it.

If your partner is constantly on his phone, texting or emailing someone when you’re around, it could be a sign that he’s cheating. Of course, we all use our phones frequently these days, but if he seems extra secretive about who he’s talking to or what he’s doing on his phone, it may be cause for concern. If you try to look at his phone, and he gets defensive or won’t let you see it, that’s another red flag.

7. He gets annoyed when you do nice things for him.

Has your partner stopped appreciating the nice things you do for him? Is he cheating? If he used to love it when you made him dinner, but now he says he’s too tired or not in the mood, it may be because he’s getting his needs met elsewhere.

The same goes for other thoughtful gestures like buying him a gift or planning a special date night. If he doesn’t seem interested in doing anything special with you anymore, it could be a sign that he’s found someone else who will appreciate his time and effort.

8. He goes out of his way to not stay alone with you.

When your partner is cheating, he’ll do everything he can to avoid being alone with you. He may make up excuses for why he can’t spend time with you or he may try to keep other people around when you’re together. This is because he doesn’t want to risk getting caught or lying to you about what he’s doing.

If you suspect your partner is cheating, you must talk to him about it. Don’t accuse him of anything, but express your concerns and see how he responds.

Conclusion

No one wants to wonder, “Is my boyfriend cheating?” Unfortunately, it happens more often than we’d like to admit. If you suspect your man might be seeing someone else, pay attention to changes in his behavior and appearance and see if anything raises red flags for you. Trust your gut—if something feels off, it probably is!

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