If you like a night out that includes a bit of a sexed-up vibe, then London’s sex parties and club nights are probably going to be high on your list of priorities.

There’s something pretty special about getting naked in club and getting off with guys you’ve never met before and are unlikely to ever see again.

Hard On and Jamie HP are the main organisers of gay sex parties in London, but there are also a number of other promoters and special events that spice up the options available.

Jamie HP

Jamie HP are known for their weekly events. Their main venue is Union in Vauxhall.

They have a Saturday night party and also a Sunday afternoon party.

Hard On

Hard On generally do a monthly club night.

Their next event will be on 18 November at Union in Vauxhall. The energy at a Hard On club night is pretty electric – music, dancing, men, sex.

What happens at a sex party?

Different parties in different cities will each have a bit of a unique kind of vibe. The main thing is to go with an open mind and take your lead from what’s happening around.

Dress Code

Getting the dress code right is a fairly important first step when you’re contemplating a sex party. You might not be allowed to enter if you don’t comply with the required dress code.

Some parties are fairly relaxed about dress code, whereas others take it very seriously.

If you’re unsure if your leather harness is going to cut it with the door-bitch, check out the organiser’s social media and see if you can get a sense of the level of outfit or fetish-wear that will be expected.

For any sort of sex party, you’re generally going to want to wear something that has a bit of a fetish edge. That could be as simple as a jockstrap and a harness, or you might need to invest in something more.

Who goes to sex parties?

The great thing about club-based sex parties in cities such as London is that they attract a pretty diverse bunch of guys. You’ll see all ages – usually early-20s and upwards – and you’ll see all body types, personalities, and fetish.

You generally don’t get a lot of attitude at sex parties – everyone is up for a bit of fun and some great music.

Online sex parties

Cam-sex and video chat aren’t anything new, but the lockd0wn isolation of Covid-19 saw an explosion in our online lives.

Ever the innovators, we were all quick to put the technology to work and explore the world of online sex parties.

What happens at an online sex party?

Like most things in life, sex parties come in all shapes and sizes. They’re obviously not everyone’s cup of tea, but if you’re in the mood for a bit of fun then it’s something that might be worth exploring.

Basically, you pretty much just set your camera up, get naked, and enjoy the thrill of having guys watching you while you wank as you get off watching other guys wank. It’s good fun.

Online sex parties don’t have to be particularly organised – it could just be you and a couple of mates setting up a group video call, getting naked, and working each other over – visually and verbally. If you want something a bit more structured, a number of the regular nights have adapted their format and taken their sex-positive community online.

One of the challenges of running an online sex party is that – for a range of reasons – the main video conferencing platforms aren’t that keen for them to be used for sexual activity or content. It still happens, obviously, but you just have to be a bit discrete about it.

Before you get started, it’s a good idea to test out your camera and your position. Whether you’re using your phone or your laptop, you want to make sure that the technology is working and that you’ve got the angles and the lighting right so that you’re presenting yourself appropriately.

It depends on how many guys are taking part, and the platform that you’re using, but you’ll probably be able to scroll through to see who’s there, and there’s probably going to be a chat function so that you can post messages to the group or private messages to other guys.

If you want to retain a bit of anonymity, think about that in advance. The screen-name that you input during the log-in process is probably going to be displayed on screen – like a work-call. You might want to use a pseudonym. Also, think about whether you’re happy for your face to be seen on-screen.

The good thing about an online sex party is that it’s a different way to experience sexual self-pleasure. Masturbation is generally fairly solitary and functional. An online sex party encourages you to think about it in a different way – it’s a communal activity, you’re connecting with other guys, you’re taking your time.

Is an online sex party a risk to my reputation?

Like anything that you put on the internet, it’s possible that the intimate moments that you’re sharing with others could end up with a wider audience than you’d anticipated.

If you’ve got the kind of job where it could be a problem if there are naked photos or video of you out there, then you probably need to be a bit careful about how you approach an online sex party.

Obviously, you don’t want to film yourself doing anything illegal, but if you’re not cool with the wider world seeing you get a bit sexual, then you might want to explore a Mexican wrestling mask, a fetish hood, or a balaclava to retain a bit of mystery.

How to navigate a sex club party

I caught up with Dick Baker to swap tips on how to navigate a club full of horned-up guys.

What led you to try out a sex club for the first time?

Hard On in London was the first sex club party that I went to. I’d never been to anything like that before, but I’d heard a lot about it on social media. I wanted to experience it, to try it out, experiment. I wanted to see if it was any good.

How does a club like Hard On work?

You walk in, and then you get changed.

The dress code for Hard On isn’t as strict as some other places. Hard On caters to a wide range of fetishes — rubber, leather, sports wear, or full-on naked

They have a basic locker-room changing area, so you don’t have to ride the tube in your gear.

But you are getting changed in front of everyone — this isn’t the place to come to if you’re modest or shy.

What did you wear on your first visit to Hard On?

A jock-strap, sports socks, and a harness.

These days I always start off wearing a jock-strap, but I end up taking that off pretty quickly and just stuff it in one of my socks so I don’t lose it. I get more attention when I’m naked.

Who do you go with?

I generally go by myself. There’s hundreds of guys there, but it can sometimes feel a bit lonely by yourself. I generally know a few people there, people to chat with when you’re grabbing a drink or having a smoke. It would be nice to go with a group of guys, that way you can go off and have some fun and then come back together to drink and chat and dance.

What’s the layout of a club like Hard On?

Downstairs there’s the main dance floor, the main bar, and two play areas. Upstairs is the main dark room, sofas, and a corridor with slings, benches, and private cabins.

It gets so busy that sometimes you feel like you can’t move.

What’s your general strategy?

It depends a bit on how I’m feeling, but generally I walk in, get changed, have a bit of a dance, walk around and scope out the place, then go upstairs and see what happens.

Generally, it doesn’t take more than eye contact. You lock eyes with a guy and you know — okay, here we go. If it’s busy, sometimes a guy will just wrap his hand around my cock to get my attention.

What happens if someone is making eye contact with you or trying to get your attention and you’re not up for it?

You can just ignore their attempts at eye contact. If someone touches me and I’m not interested, my facial expressions are very expressive and can send a clear message. If someone doesn’t get the message then I’m just very direct and tell them that I’m not interested. That rarely ever happens though, as long as you’re clear with your signals you won’t have a problem.

You shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do, or behave in a certain way. The venue is just providing the environment and the opportunity, it’s up to you to find your own pace. You can just have a bit of fun with a couple of guys, or you can get comfortable in a sling in the dark room and make it clear that you’re not bothered by who is taking a turn on you.

How many times would you have sex at a party like Hard On?

I usually have some fun upstairs, cum, go downstairs to get some water and have a cigarette, have a dance, then head back upstairs for some more fun. Generally I’ll cum at least twice, possibly three or four times.

I take Viagra when I got to a party like Hard On. It means I’m always ready for action and can last for longer. I also wear a cock-ring — I wear a necklace with some of my favourite cock-rings.

What sort of guys go to a party like Hard On?

All sorts of guys. I’m 31, but there’s a varied mix of guys of all ages. I’ve noticed recently that the crowd seems to be getting younger — maybe PrEP has something to do with that.

There’s lots of condoms available at Hard On, but generally guys don’t use them. It’s a personal choice — they’re readily available if you want them.

What hints or tips would you give to someone who was thinking about going to their first sex club party?

Try and go with a friend, at least for the first few times. Know what you want — set yourself some boundaries.

Fetish gear can be really expensive, but you can just go with something simple. A jockstrap and a pair of sports socks is a classic look — you’re covered but not covered. If you want a harness of some kind, you don’t have to splash out on a leather harness, there are fabric harness options available that are more affordable.

You don’t have to look like the guy on the poster. There’s lots of ordinary, everyday guys at these parties. Everyone is just out for a good time.

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