Why do men masturbate?

New research by evolutionary biologists indicates that masturbation was a key behaviour that was embraced by the primates from which humans descend from.
The research, led by a team from the University College London and published by The Royal Society, has confirmed that masturbation was an evident behaviour at least 40 million years ago – demonstrated by evolutionary ancestors from which humans, monkeys, and apes are all descended from. Masturbation is an ancient, evolved trait that is fundamental to who we are.
The question that the researchers were trying to get to grips with is, why do we masturbate? From an evolutionary perspective, masturbation appears costly, distracting, wasteful, even risky. But is there an evolutionary reason why our passion for masturbation is something that is innately built into our genetic makeup?
To reconstruct the evolutionary history of masturbation, the research team studied publications, questionnaire responses and personal notes about masturbating primates from primatologists and zoo keepers. They then mapped the information on to primate evolutionary trees, revealing how the activity echoed back through time.
The analysis suggests that male masturbation has some link to boosting the chances of impregnating a mate. Masturbation before intercourse can increase arousal – leading to a faster release of semen, increasing the likelihood of impregnation before a sexual competitor tries to take over. Another possible evolutionary benefit of masturbation is that it helps release aged sperm, ensuring that when intercourse happens then the sperm is fresher and faster.
There was also some evidence that masturbation helped minimise the risk of sexually transmitted infections – flushing the genital tract and reducing the risk of an infection taking hold.
What doesn’t seem to have been addressed by the research is that masturbating feels good. It’s easy to imagine that there’s some evolutionary benefit from experiencing intense pleasure and releasing endorphins. There’s a lot of men who are strong advocates for the value of regular and extended periods of masturbation.
The bottom line? Man masturbate. It’s what we do. It’s part of what makes us who we are. Masturbation is something that we can proudly embrace and celebrate.
When is International Masturbation Day?
It may not be a national holiday, but it probably should be. That’s right, International Masturbation Day is a thing, and we’re putting in daily practice to ensure that we’re always ready to celebrate.
Some people declare the entire month of May as a month of masturbation, but if you’re a purist you’ll know that 28 May is the day that the world celebrates International Masturbation Day.
Start your training now!
This is the kind of important occasion that can be celebrated as a couple, with friends, with people you don’t know, or just by yourself.
But you don’t need to limit yourself. In a world of abundance, you can make every day a masturbation milestone worth celebrating.
Masturbating is awesome.
Grease up and let’s get to grips with this important topic.
Does masturbation boost your immune system?
We’re still doing a lot of research on this subject, but there are some indications that regularly masturbating could have some benefits in boosting your immune system. Good news, right?
Sure, washing your hands is still important, but it seems clear that a lot of our problems could be solved with more masturbation.
Who said science wasn’t sexy?
How does masturbation boost your immune system?
Masturbation undoubtedly gets the blood pumping, but it also gets every part of your body fired up. Getting aroused, stimulating yourself through masturbation, and then reaching orgasm brings into play parts of your body that might otherwise be kicking back and taking a bit of a nap.
The roller-coaster of pleasure that you get from getting yourself off delivers a natural boost to your body’s cortisol levels – this helps to keep your immune system working effectively.
What other health benefits does masturbation have?
It’s not just your immune system that benefits from your regular masturbation sessions. There’s actually loads of reasons you that having a bit of quality me-time is good for your health.
Mental Health
Masturbation delivers your body a boost of endorphins through the bloodstream. These endorphins can help you to tackle depression and anxiety.
It’s also a great stress-relief strategy. If you’ve had a difficult day and finding it hard to switch off, find a quiet space and treat yourself to the ultimate relaxation technique.
Some studies have also shown that masturbation can help boost your self-esteem. The science behind that claim isn’t exactly clear, but if you’re relaxed, not feeling stressed, and you’re anxiety is under control, then it makes a fair bit of sense that you’re giving yourself the head-space to feel good about yourself.
Prostate Cancer
Masturbation stimulates your prostate gland – even if you’re not specifically targeting it with a toy or a dildo. If your prostate is active, you’re less likely to develop prostate cancer.
Blood Pressure
Embracing a bit of self-love has also been shown to help lower your blood pressure.
Honestly, it’s a total no-brainer. Schedule some regular me-time and you’ll be ready to take on the world.
Tips to make your bate sessions better
There’s not really any right or wrong way to masturbate – it’s important to find what works for you. But it never hurts to try new things and to explore ways to mix things up a bit and enhance your pleasure.
Here’s some tips you might want to consider.
Make some noise
One of the challenges of figuring out masturbation when we’re younger is that we’re often living at home and sharing a room. Because masturbation isn’t generally something that’s talked about, it’s something that we learn to do in secret, quickly, silently.
As we get older, we probably don’t need to be as quiet but it’s hard to unlearn those early behaviours.
Focus on trying to make some noise while you’re masturbating. It could just be talking to yourself, it could be breathing really loudly, it could be groaning and moaning, or just swearing lots. Try different stuff.
You might decide that you actually prefer it when you stay quiet, but adding some noise to your jack-off can be fun.
Involve every bit of your body
Again, a lot of this stems from how we learn to masturbate when we’re younger. We tend to be fairly dick-focused. Hand on hard cock, rub one out, job done.
Don’t forget that you’ve got lots of erogenous zones, and the more of them you can stimulate during your bate session then the wilder the ride.
Your nipples are an obvious starting point. Your butt is also highly sensitive. Take your time, explore your body. Maximise your pleasure.
Take it to the edge
Edging is where you take your pleasure levels almost to the point of orgasm but then you ease off and allow your body to step back from the brink.
This is the ideal thing to do if you’ve got a bit of time on your hands. You’ll not only give yourself greater pleasure over an extended period of time, but when you do eventually allow yourself to cum, it will be explosive.
Get the toys out
An old-school jack-off is you, your fist, and maybe some lubrication. That works, but there’s a huge range of toys out there to help add some spice to your bate session. Entry-level, there’s vibrators and fleshjacks and butt-plugs, but literally there’s a whole world of self-pleasure toys out there to be explored and enjoyed.
Prostate power
Get to know your prostate. Figure out where it is in your body, and then try different ways of stimulating it. Focusing on your prostate can really unlock a lot of pleasure. You want to cum? Smash your prostate a couple of times and it’s job done.
Make the time
Block out some time in your diary. Clear your schedule. Get comfortable and allow yourself to really make the most of some quality me-time. A long, leisurely wank will hit totally different to quickly rubbing one out in the shower at the gym.
Break the routines
This is sometimes referred to pattern-based behaviour. Has your masturbation fallen into some sort of routine? Think about when and how you masturbate – is it pretty much always the same?
Allow yourself to break some of those patterns. Maybe it’s masturbating at a different time of day, or maybe it’s mixing it up in some other way. If you always masturbate in the same way, it’s going to be fairly predictable. Still enjoyable, but predictable. Give your body some surprises, keep your body guessing, allow yourself to experience pleasure in new ways.
Poppers
Not everyone enjoys poppers, but they can be a way of giving yourself a bit of a head-rush and really feel the waves of pleasure that an extended bate and edging session can deliver. Worth experimenting with.
Broaden your mind
The way that we’ve generally learned how to masturbate can make it quite a functional process. We’re horny, we jack-off, we cum – job done. Most of us turn to porn to help us get into the horny head-space that we’re familiar with.
Put some research into the world of sex, sexuality, and eroticism. Explore erotic art. Dive into the world of Tantra. Experiment with a bit of kink. Don’t limit yourself with what you know – open yourself to pleasure from every direction.
The language of masturbation
That’s lots of words, phrases, and euphemisms to describe the act of masturbation. Jack-off, jerk-off, wank, and bate are probably the most common, but here’s a list of some of the terms that have caught our eye.
- Beat your meat
- Yank your plank
- Practice your wrist aerobics
- Tame your dragon
- Work-up a foamy lather
- Ice the cake
- Jack the beanstalk
- Wrestle your demon
- Whittle your stick
- Whip the cream
- Whack your weasel
- Splatter your shower
- Polish your helmet
- Varnish your flagpole
- Toss your yogurt
- Tickle your pickle
- Tend to your own affairs
- Tame the shrew
- Wax your paddle
- Grease your pole
- Take matters into your own hands
- Strain the main vein
- Stir the batter
- Take some practice shots
- Stew in your own juices
- Fly solo
- Shoot for the moon
- Scratch the itch
- Stir the secret sauce
- Relish your hot-dog
- Pull your own weight
- Prime the pump
- Star in a one-man show
- Spread your mayo
- Play five-on-one
- Paint the ceiling
- Open the flood gates
- Make instant pudding
- Liquidate the inventory
- Let the cat out of the bag
- Free willy
- Have it your way
- Clear your snorkel
- Charm the snake
- Blow your own horn
- Adjust the antenna
- Release the tadpoles
- Shake hands with your best friend
- Whack your willy
- Pull your plonker
- Toss your caber
- Stroke your sausage
- Spank the monkey
- Choke the chicken
- Pull a muscle
- Five knuckle shuffle
- Whack one off
- Jerking the gherkin
- Blowing your trombone
- Busting your nuts
- Knock one out
- Beating your bishop
- Wax the carrot
- Rub one out
- Jack the hammer
- Polish the candlestick
- Waxing the dolphin
- Making cock snot
How do you talk about masturbation? Which words do you use? Which is your favourite phrase? Slide into our DMs and give us a mouthful.
How do you masturbate?
We asked SoCalBrownCow about masturbation.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
I was 15 and it happened quite accidentally. I grew up in a very strict and religious home — I had no idea about jacking-off before this happened.
I was at school and had the most painful erection the entire day — I had to cover my hard-on with my books as I was going between classes. Once I got home, I was laying on my bed doing my homework, and the erection pain intensified. I moved a bit to shift the position of my dick and as I did so, I found that I got some relief from the pain, but the relief only lasted a couple of minutes.
As the pain returned, I did the same thing. After a few times of doing this, I just started moving my dick more — effectively humping my bed — and then all of a sudden, this feeling just came over me and then the most intense sensations was coming from my dick, along with a lot of wet stuff coming out of it.
At first, I thought I’d peed myself in a major way, so I quickly got up and went to the bathroom. When I pulled my pants off, I noticed there was this thick white ooze coming from my underwear. I then opened my waistband and there it was — a fully limp and relieved dick surrounded by a flood of cum.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
I felt guilty. I cried. I honestly thought that I’d lost my virginity when that happened.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
At dinner with my parents that night, my mom sensed something was wrong. I then told them what happened and they remained silent for a moment. My mom then said — “Well, it takes two people to lose your virginity.”
Not satisfied with this answer, I asked her to call my doctor and she did. His response was a hearty laugh along with the following statement — “It’s natural. Don’t worry about it.”
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
Humping the bed 1–2 times daily was my only technique. No lube was used since I was — and still am — a heavy pre-cummer.
Can you remember the first time you talked to someone else about jacking off?
Beyond my parents, I didn’t say anything to anyone else about it for 10 years. It wasn’t until I connected with someone on Yahoo personals that I actually had a conversation about jacking off.
I was just then starting to come out to myself that I was gay, but he and I only met up so I could play with his feet — lick his soles and suck his toes. I’m still into that.
He showed me his dick, but he didn’t get hard and we didn’t do anything. But, when I was 32, I had my first 1-on-1 sexual experience with a guy from France who was living here in L.A. I jacked my dick and as I started to cum, he started sucking me and then he came seconds later. That was the second most intense orgasm I’ve ever had — after my first one at age 15. He actually choked because of the volume of cum that shot out of me!
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
I humped my bed until I was 19, then I decided to use my hands after watching gay porn once. I found this to be much cleaner since I wasn’t leaving fluid stains all over my bed and in my underwear anymore. For years, I would jack with my right hand — now I use my left hand.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
My preferred method is to let the guy I’m with do it to me — it’s far more satisfying that way. A well-lubed hand slowly jacking my dick while their other hand is tickling my ball-sack — or they’re licking my ball-sack — is the sure-fire way for me to cum like a fountain.
I prefer that the guy keeps jacking my dick as I’m cumming. It’s very intense, but I want make sure he gets it all out of me.
If I’m solo, then it’s just me with my left hand using System H2O lube while tickling my ball-sack. Occasionally, I like to open my slit just as I start to cum — the orgasm is extremely intense and my cum-load is obscenely large. I don’t like to edge myself, it just stresses me out.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Just take your time. If you have a trusted friend within your age bracket, talk with them about your experience — chances are they’re trying to figure things out as well, so it would help if you both help each other out by becoming jack-off buds. It won’t negatively impact your friendship, it’ll enhance it.
Interestingly enough, about a year ago, my childhood best friend and I discussed our individual jack-off experiences for the first time — and we wished that we’d done it with each other back then. There would’ve been way less guilt and it would’ve brought us closer as friends.
How do you masturbate?
We caught up with Calvin Collins and asked him a few personal questions.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
The first time I decided to jack off I was 11 years old.
One day, I heard the other boys at school talk about how great it felt to shoot their load. I was dying to know what it felt like to have some kind of an orgasm. I went home from school and went straight to the bathroom. It seemed to be the safest place in the house because the door locked. I started the shower and begin playing my dick. Not sure what to do really just stroking and playing with it like I had done before, only this time I wanted something more to happen.
I began pounding harder and faster, my arm began to hurt, my entire body tense and shaking. I was probably more wet from sweat than the shower water at that point.
I decided to sit down in the shower, and continued beating it until I finally released shooting my load and seeing my cum for the first time splatter across the shower walls and floor.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
I felt like I had finally become a man.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
I never told anyone about it at first. I’d hurry home every day after school, to find new ways to masturbate. With a finger in my butt, with lotion or lube — I even once laid out on the roof and watched the sunset while wanking one out.
It wasn’t until I started high school that I became comfortable talking about it with other guys. A group of buddies would all get together and watch porn, talk about things we liked, and things we’d tried. They would sometimes tease me because they all knew that I was bisexual — they would always whip out their dicks and jerk near my face.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
Of course, I still enjoy masturbating. Although I will say it takes longer than it used to back then. These days, I enjoy edging myself until I can’t hold it back any longer. To me, that’s the best-case scenario — having that amazing feeling of being “right-there”.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
When you’re just about to finish yourself off, hold back just a few times and see how much better your orgasm becomes. It builds up to such a great climax.
We caught up with Dixon Penn to talk about jacking off.
Can you remember the first time you jacked- off?
I was thirteen, in my bedroom, getting hard looking at pictures of footballers — I’d carefully snipped them from newspapers.
Usually it was just their legs that I cut out and kept hidden in a drawer. Thighs were my thing, and football socks. I once ‘borrowed’ a worn pair from a fellow pupil at secondary school. They took my jacking off to new heights.
The only footballer I remember swooning over was Steve Coppell, who was playing for Manchester United when I was a lad. There was something about his nose. I kept pictures of his whole body, not just his thighs.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
Stunned. Shocked. Bemused. Guilty — I came in my undies and jeans. That may be why lads filling their undies soaks through into my erotic fiction. I was mighty keen to try it again.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
Not a soul. I was a loner growing up. I never discussed it with anyone.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
My technique was gradually refined as my teen years faded. In tandem, I discovered that some anal play heightened the delight of shooting a load.
How has your jack- off style evolved over the years?
I cringe when I see younger lads in porn yanking it about all over the shop — like it’s a jumbo sausage or something.
My style requires all five digits working in harmony. I like my fingers curved around my shaft, the forefinger and thumb nestled beneath my helmet as the magic circle.
Then, a nice, steady up-down motion — as if I were masturbating a rolling pin. I’m not bragging, honest.
I love to cum inside my foreskin, so when I edge toward bliss, I nip the foreskin tight between my forefinger and thumb. Hot jizz filling up inside that skin — heaven. When I’m feeling lazy, I’ll wear a condom and cum into that. It’s sweet watching that rubber teat inflate.
What’s your preferred way to jack- off currently?
If I’m in the back of my transit van on a street, or in a car park, or parked deep in the woods, I’ll whip the foreskin back and just let rip — firing hot globs all over the shop. Technology is wonderful — when I’m out working all day, I can pick up porn sites on my phone if I’m in need of some relief. If the connection’s dodgy, I can connect to a customer’s Wi-Fi.
What jack- off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Touch yourself in whatever way feels right for you. Don’t think you’ve got to master the techniques of porn stars — just pick up some hints and tips and ideas from them. Take it slow, learn to get close to the precipice.
Let your imagination run wild and free — it’s more powerful than anything you’ll watch on a screen.
Remember that at the start of your jacking journey, you’ll not have much control — especially if you rub it too much. It can get messy and embarrassing on buses, trains — other venues are possible.
Enjoy it, and never ever feel bad, dirty, or guilty about it.
If you think jacking yourself off is divine, just wait until someone else does it for you.
How do you masturbate?
We caught up with LeanHung to talk about jacking off.
LeanHung is a guy with a big dick and a lot of cum. That pretty much ticks all of our boxes.
You’ve mentioned that you like jacking-off outdoors. What is it about outdoor fun that turns you on?
Outdoor jerking is hot at a nudist pool party, a spontaneous encounter at a park or beach, a campground, behind a building, or wherever!
I usually freeball in gym shorts, so guys check out my big bulge flopping around which gives me a quick boner – intensifying the situation between us.
Being an exhibitionist, it feels awesome to be exposed outside in the fresh air and the sun, skin on skin, under the open sky.
What’s the best angle to film yourself jacking-off?
When taking photos or video of myself, I usually position the camera directly in front of my crotch to get the closest and best view of my throbbing, unloading cock.
What sort of feedback do you get from the cock pics and jack-off vids that you post online?
I appreciate the kind words and positive messages I get from other guys.
Guys often want to take my large cock deep inside their hole, or they want to swallow my cum.
I often edge for up to two weeks at a time – without cumming. So, when I do cum, it’s a lot of cum.
My favourite way to get off is to lodge my huge meat deep down a wet throat, staying completely still as the guy’s throat-muscles clamp down on it, feeling my cock throb and spray endless ropes of warm cum down his hungry gulping throat, until my overloaded nuts are completely drained!
What do you hope that guys feel when they’re looking at your cock pics or watching your jack-off videos?
If there are some guys out there that enjoy watching my jack-off videos or pics, I’d be thrilled if they were using them to get off!
I’m really into jerking – I often attend jack-off parties. I’m usually the bukkake guy – down on my knees, leaning back, legs wide open, getting hosed down with the loads of the other guys drenching me, their cum dripping down my neck, my chest, my abs, and my cock.
We caught up with Stanley, to talk masturbation.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
I was experimenting at home in the loo — I must have been around 13.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
When I jacked off for the first time, I hadn’t begun to make semen yet. The delight of my dry ejaculation was amazing.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
I talked with my mates, and a neighbour who was my age. My mates were already able to produce semen as their physical maturity was a little bit further along than mine. I was so envious.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
I have my foreskin, so lube was something I didn’t think about. I guess I must have used some different techniques, as I’d cum many times each day.
Can you remember the first time you talked to someone else about jacking off?
First time I discussed it was with my brother-in-law’s brother. He was a year younger than me, and we would sometimes beat together. I remember he had an ugly willy.
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
Evolution came with experience and a good helping of the internet. Who ever heard of sounds, let alone nipple-clamps and cock rings.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
I’ve slowed down with wanking. Postponing ejaculation often, so I can share intimacy with another man. I like the quality of sharing, rather than a large quantity of solo tugs. I do now enjoy some lube though.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Have it all. Enjoy it all. Stay tender — go gently with your willy, remember he has to last your lifetime. Use toys, clamps, sounds, condoms to see what really curls up your toes. Watch how your partners pleasure themselves, and try their techniques too. Most of all, enjoy your body and mind so that you build awareness of you. Your likes, dislikes, hot spots and ‘not’ spots.
We caught up with Dick, to discuss masturbation.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
The first time was when I was 13 — I was watching the pie scene from American Pie.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
I was surprised, but I wanted to do it again.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
No. I didn’t talk about jacking of with anyone until I was in my 20s.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
No — it was just basic stroking. I wasn’t using any lube or anything.
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
I discovered lube!
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
These days, I do it in the shower, with a prostate massager.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Natural oils are discreet.
We caught up with Coda Filthy to talk about his perspective on masturbation.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
I remember the first time I jacked off was when I was around 12 years old.
I noticed that I was growing very fast at an early age. We’d always compare sizes with other kids when we were younger, and I noticed mine was bigger than usual.
Also, I ran across my uncle’s porn, and that was the first time I saw how sex was performed.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
I used to always masturbate when I was in bed, before going to sleep.
I never used any lube, because I pre-cum so much. I still pre-cum a lot, so lube is never really an issue when it comes to jacking-off.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Enjoy yourself. Find what works for you.
We caught up with English Nick to talk about his perspective on masturbation.
Can you remember the first time you jacked off?
I was 14 — I was in the bathroom at home. I remember playing with it, and was like — “Hang on, this is good!”
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
Amazing. I made a point of doing it whenever I could.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
No, this was my secret.
I’ve never really talked about it with anyone, it’s never been a topic of discussion.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
Always dry — I like the friction. As I’m uncut, I don’t need lube.
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
These days I take longer. I don’t get as much time to do it as I used to. Plus, now I can just have sex instead.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
I do it standing up, pounding furiously.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Find what’s best for you. Don’t over do it — it can be painful.
We caught up with Kyler Fey to talk about his perspective on masturbation.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
I don’t recall a specific first time, but I remember clearly that I was actually doing it regularly for quite a long time before I was even capable of making cum — probably starting when I was ten.
I remember, during these early days of it, experiencing again and again this wild sensation of having hit some kind of sensory barrier where my dick simply became so sensitive that I couldn’t play with it anymore. It would go soft, and I’d have to wait a while before I could get hard and do it again.
Being a very curious boy, I did some research on this phenomenon and realised that I was probably having orgasms but that I wasn’t making any spunk yet.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
My first actual ejaculation happened during the summer, a couple months before my twelfth birthday.
My jacking-off method at the time usually involved humping a pillow, while having an elaborate fantasy about another boy. One afternoon, while doing this, I reached the expected orgasm threshold, but this time it felt a little different — I realised that something had come out of my cock, and that I’d made a little wet spot on the pillow.
I was very fucking thrilled about this, because I’d been waiting for that moment for a long time already. I also realised that, going forward, playing with my cock was going to start making a little mess that I’d have to find ways of dealing with.
I was very secretive about it for the first few years. I was an only child — so no older brother who had been through it first — and things like this weren’t talked about with my parents. Also. I didn’t have a lot of close male friends, and the couple that I did have at the time were probably running a little bit behind me on getting started with jacking off and cumming.
I knew basically what was going on with my body when that first cum-spurt happened, because we had decent sex ed in my school. Also, being a bookish lad, I read as much about sex and dudes and dicks and sperm as I possibly could — constantly searching the public library for more info. This was in the days before the internet.
My mom owned, hidden away in a cache of secret sex books, a copy of Nancy Fridays’ 1980 volume Men In Love, which fascinated the hell out of me. It’s a compilation of hundreds of male sex anecdotes and fantasies, organised by theme, that the author solicited by way of ads asking dudes to send her their stories. I was at home alone a lot, so I’d read this book for a while — and usually jack off about something I’d read — and then put it back in its hiding place that so she wouldn’t know that I’d gotten into her secret books.
Weirdly, this odd book had three very good sex-positive effects on me. First, I understood that jacking off is totally normal and probably universal among young males. Second, that gay dudes exist — there was a section of stories in that book from non-straight guys, and I was very slowly trying to understand and accept why other boys made my dick hard. Third, that it’s totally normal to have really wild sex fantasies, even ones that you wouldn’t really enact in real life.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
At some point fairly early on, I switched from almost always using the humping-the-pillow method to almost always the right-fist method while lying on my back, though I’d switch it up sometimes.
I was also always looking for ways to make myself cum without touching my cock, because I figured that would feel more like ‘real’ sex, which I’d yet to experience. Successful experiments in this pursuit included pressing my dick against the flow of the water-fill jet in the swimming pool that we had in the backyard at the time. It would take a while, but eventually it stimulated me enough to jizz in the water.
Another triumphant method was fucking a melon. During the summer that I was thirteen, we had a garden with cantaloupe growing in it. It occurred to me to carve a hole into one of them and stick my cock into it. This was, at that time in my life, a totally mind-blowing way to do it — once I got the dick-hole cut to the correct size. Obviously, I couldn’t use this amazing method very often lest suspicion arise over the rapid disappearance of our melon crop. I still do this once in a while for a special treat.
Also, while still in the early days of being able to cum, I experimented with my ass a little bit, occasionally inserting food items like hot dogs and carrots into it. I also figured out that massaging my nuts with the other hand while stroking my cock feels really good.
I was off and on with lube, usually not using any because I didn’t like dealing with the mess of it. Sometimes I’d use my own spit, imagining that this would make it feel like a blowjob, but that usually wasn’t very satisfactory because I found that I couldn’t spit enough to keep the ideal sensation going for long enough. Also, I was a kid and I didn’t know about nor have access to proper lubes, so when I did slick it up it would always be with random stuff around the house like Vaseline, sunscreen, cooking oil, or soap.
Sometimes I’d have days when my cock was chafed from overdoing it, so I’d restrict myself to jerking it in the shower with some kind of lube. I learned that if I had a sore spot then the soap might sting. It seems, however, that penis skin heals quickly. I still injure myself a little bit from time to time, but it’s never more than a brief bother.
Can you remember the first time you talked to someone else about jacking off?
I remember that first time very vividly. During my sophomore year of high school, I was hanging out in my bedroom with my closest friend at that time, and he was helping me pack stuff into boxes because I was moving to a different house. We were mostly just wasting time and sharing a couple beers and smokes that I’d stolen from my dad, and not getting much packing done.
He opened a trunk at the end of my bed. I used to store all kinds of random stuff in that trunk, including an old red t-shirt that I’d been using for months to wipe cum off my body after jacking off in bed on my back every night before going to sleep. That cum-rag shirt, so heavily stained and crusty and wadded, was somehow lifted out of trunk along with something else that he’d grabbed. I remember how it hung from one of his fingers, a stiff cotton graveyard of billions of my sperm.
He and I both realised at the same moment what he’d found, and I was about to be totally embarrassed, but then he said something like — “Dude, this a really weird place to store this. I usually stick mine under my mattress.” It was seriously cool of him to volunteer that information up-front, because it made jacking off a thing that we could freely talk about from that point on with neither of us being shy or weird about it. It was simply out in the open between us that we were both daily masturbators, and that we both liked to use a thoroughly semen-saturated t-shirt as a clean-up tool. I think it helped, also, that he was a year older than me — even though we were in the same class in school — so he’d had a bit more time to get casual about his own beating off.
One regret I still harbour from that time is that I didn’t think that I could tell him that I’m gay — it was nearly unheard of to be out as gay in that place and time. I learned years later that he would have been cool with it — and that he’d secretly suspected it about me — and that I could have been more up-front with him about what was in my head that was turning me on so much during all that jacking off.
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
Because of my age — I’m over 40 now — I lived through the early era of online porn and sex chat. During my twenties, I ended up moving toward somewhat less frequent ejaculations but a lot more total time spent on jacking-off sessions. This is because I was edging it for long periods of time with other dudes in chatrooms or on the phone, and holding back my load so that I could ‘do’ a few other guys that evening without having to recharge after a cum-shot.
When I was teenager, with no porn media or other random guys assisting me, I’d make myself cum about as often as possible. Four or five times in a day was not at all uncommon, but I tended to do it really quickly. I’d even choke it in the restroom at school because I couldn’t wait until I got home. What I was physically doing didn’t change much — it was still always pulling on my prick with my right hand — but more and more often that was done while interacting online somehow in all those free chatrooms that there used to be on AOL and Yahoo.
Now those chat days are gone, and I’m obviously not a teenager or twenty-something guy anymore, so I’m not cumming quite as often — I tend to extend and savour the experience a bit more.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
I guess I don’t change it up much. It’s usually either standing up in the bathroom in front of the mirror — while I’m getting ready for work and shooting a load in the sink — or in bed on my back and shooting cum on my belly.
Both my husband I also sometimes do it during sex with each other, or when we’re having a three-way with another dude. Often he’ll fuck my ass and cum inside me, and I’ll be jerking-off during it and make myself cum either on myself or on him.
I’m still mostly an everyday ejaculator, by one means or another. In the last couple of years, however, I’ve been writing and publishing a series of erotic novels. I find that I write that kind of story faster and better when I’m really horny — during periods when I have time to make a lot of progress on a story or when I’m doing the final draft on it, I’ll prohibit myself from shooting a load so that I don’t lose my hard-on and the the momentum on the writing. During these periods, I’m still constantly masturbating, just not letting myself go all the way and spunking out. This orgasm-denial regime can sometimes go on for days, and during these periods, I’m constantly oozing pre-jac and sometimes leaking out a spurt of jizz right after I take a piss, because it needs to get out somehow.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Firstly, don’t be afraid of your own body nor let anyone shame you for it for any reason. Secondly, jacking off is totally normal and natural for most guys, and it’s a great thing for you to enjoy by yourself and perhaps someday with someone else.
Other things good to know about playing with your cock are that there’s no ‘right’ way to do it, that you also have an asshole and balls and nipples and other parts of your body that might also feel good to play with while you’re stroking it, and that sex is not just about fucking as the end goal. You can get off awesomely all by yourself. Knowing these things about yourself and your own body will help you be a better lover when you do get it on with someone else.
Less important – but perhaps still useful for the young man – at least consider using lube, especially if you’re circumcised. Also, try to do it once in a while somewhere very private where you don’t have to worry about anyone hearing — it’s hot as fuck to moan and yell and cry when you shoot it.
How do you masturbate?
We caught up with our Twitter buddy Big Cut Dave from London and asked him a few personal questions.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
First time I remember having a wank was in the bath — I wasn’t too sure what was happening.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
I still remember having an amazing feeling inside my body as I played with my cock. When I came, I really didn’t know what it was.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
I told my friend about what I did, and he had also just found out how much fun you could have. He’d started a few months before me, and I remember him showing me how he jacked off — my first gay experience!
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
In the beginning I was using soap and water as lube, which was noisy, but I was using this for a long while to pleasure myself.
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
My style still changes from day to day, sometimes using lube, sometimes dry, sometimes using a flesh-light — depends on my mood.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Just enjoy and experiment. Maybe try using a glove or lube. It’s easy to use the internet now to help get that orgasm, so see what rocks your boat. No one should tell you the right or wrong way to wank, it’s all personal.
How do you masturbate?
We caught up with DaddyBtm to discuss his perspective on masturbation.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
I was 14, and at boarding school.
Nothing happened sexually while I was at school, and I never even saw a hint of anything happening, which seems contrary to every single other guy that I’ve ever met who went to boarding school.
I was aware that I was getting random hard-ons. One night in bed, I just decided to jack-off, but very quietly because I was sleeping in a dormitory with six other lads the same age. It felt good, but I had to keep stopping because when I started to approach what I later knew was the climax moment, I had to stop because I was starting to get noisy. Eventually I worked out that the others were all asleep, so I carried on regardless and shot a big thick load all over my stomach.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
It felt awesome. I guess with puberty happening, I was very aware of hair growth, but it hit me a little later than most of my peers. Actually cumming really made me feel like I was catching up with the other lads.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
No, it just wasn’t something I had any confidence to talk about at the time. I didn’t really have a great deal of sexual confidence for many years.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
No lube — one of the joys of having a foreskin. My technique was all about doing it as quietly as possible — I even learnt to control my breathing so as not to give the game away when I’d cum. I can still do that today.
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
It hasn’t changed much, although I quite like rubbing my cock through jeans, trackie bottoms, or underwear — especially in public, although I rarely do that all the way through to cumming. It just turns me on having a hard-on in public, especially if it’s visible.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
I’ve got a bit hooked on Cam4, so basically anywhere that I’m horny and can get a 4G signal, I’ll look for any hot guys that are online and jack off with them.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Don’t worry about anything, it’s natural. Whatever turns you on in your head is absolutely fine.
How do you masturbate?
We caught up with Esteban Kortez from Chicago and asked him a few personal questions.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
The first time I jacked-off I think I was 12 or 13. It happened in the shower. I knew what masturbation was, but didn’t know how to do it. I remember just beating my dick senseless in the shower that day in all types of directions, until I felt something happening. The next thing I knew, nut was flying everywhere. It was very interesting and exciting.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
I felt extremely curious. I wanted to try it again, and I did — like, everyday afterwards.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
I kept my masturbation to myself. At the time, I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it, unfortunately. It would’ve been hot if I had someone to masturbate with.
I really don’t remember the first time that I talked to someone about it.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
I tried everything! I used my right hand, my left hand, gloves, I beat it, I stroked it, I stuck my dick in any hole I could find. I really think I beat off too much, because my dick would be sore sometimes and I’d have to let it rest a few days so it could heal.
I think that ultimately led me to my current condition of a lack of sensitivity. The only thing that makes me cum is extremely good head and masturbating now. I’ve never been able to cum from sex.
I used to use lotion mainly, but I think most of the time I would just beat it dry.
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
Over the years, I figured out what exactly I like and what feels good. I used to just beat my dick senselessly just because, and now I enjoy a nice slow stroke using Wet Platinum or Vaseline.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
I honestly hate masturbating now. I’d much rather cum from getting my dick sucked. I still jack-off though, because I can’t always get sex when I want it. When I do jack-off, it’s usually in the mornings before work while watching some quick porn on my phone.
When I have time to jack-off, I usually just find some good porn on my laptop, beat it at first, add lube, and stroke it while playing with my nipples until I bust. I like to jack-off every two or three days. It feels much better when I let the nut build up.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
The only tips I have based off of my own experiences are to not overdo it. Jacking off can be fun. Watch some porn to see how other guys do it. Everyone’s dick is different, so you have to find the method that works for you. Jack-off with a friend or three for more fun.
How do you masturbate?
We caught up with Jason and asked him a few personal questions.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
I was eight. I was in my bed — my dick was hard and I humped my pillow.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
I knew about it from my older brother, so I wasn’t nervous. It felt great.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
The next day I told my older brother and my Dad.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
I tried lots of ways. I also got some help from a friend.
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
I still use the death grip, but it really varies based on the situation or mood. For example, if I’m alone it’s still my right hand and tons of envisioning and I take my time. If I’m in a scene, it tends to be lots more spontaneous and varied.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
I prefer jacking off into someone’s mouth. But when I’m alone, I’m belly down on my fist. I mix it up, sometimes I’ll have an aneros in my ass.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Vary your grip. No ass or mouth is going to feel like that.
We caught up with Rogue Fox and asked him a few personal questions.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
I used to use vibrating back massagers on my dick — starting at 12 years old — because I knew it made me feel good. Actual jacking off probably started around 13. I was in the shower — I was just messing around and then suddenly, boom!
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
I almost blacked out and my legs went weak. Fucking amazing. I wasn’t quite sure what had happened.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
I talked about it with my cousin — we were about the same age. We used to compare what worked for us, and would jerk off together.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
Any lube would have been soap and lotions. Not proper lube. Also, I kept on with the vibrating stimulation.
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
These days I usually don’t use lube. Just the friction, if I’m jerking off. Also, I love using poppers.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
Poppers and edging myself is always good. I love getting a dildo up my ass as well, if I’m feeling motivated.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Do it all the time. Seriously. As much as you can in as many different situations. And with friends. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. See what turns you on and go for it. Be adventurous. Watch porn, see what kinks you might want to try, ask around and experiment. Have fun.
How do you masturbate?
We caught up with Männerclub and asked him a few personal questions.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
I was nine years old. It was spontaneous, but I can’t re-call exactly how I discovered what would happen if you rubbed yourself.
I wasn’t taught by anyone, it was a completely natural action. But once that was discovered, and the revelation of orgasm and ejaculation were felt and experienced — I never turned back.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
I loved the feeling. I quickly became a dedicated masturbator, and have been ever since. There was some guilt or fear of being caught — there was more of that in those days. For years I hid it from any parental discovery.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
Not until I was 11. For some reason got into a discussion with a class-mate. He revealed that he was masturbating, as were a large number of our other class-mates. In that discussion, I learned how others were doing it as opposed to my method. After that, we would get together and very quickly get into sessions.
Later in middle school years, my cousin and I had a revelatory discussion, got turned on and masturbated together — the first of a number of sessions we’d have through our teen and university years.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
I didn’t vary my technique for some time. It was an issue of concealment in those years. Lube came later. At the beginning it was always a dry approach — I’d use either a sock, underwear, or an undershirt as a cum-rag and then hide it under the bed.
The cum-rag would accumulate a huge number of loads, then another one would be initiated. Some time later one of the ‘rags’ was discovered when the bed was moved.
I also loved long sessions in the shower or tub. Looking back, I’m sure that my parents or at least my Dad must have known what I was up to in there. But I was very dedicated in concealing any evidence.
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
Widely — I’ve experimented a great deal over the years. I’ve tried just about any method you know of, could think of, or devise. That includes all manner of hand and grip configurations, pressure and stroke variations, positions, humping methods, lubricant types, and devices.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
I’m currently enjoying many of the mechanical, electrical, vibratory, and tech means and devices that are widely available — I try as many as I can get. Electro and vibrating are currently extremely enjoyable.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Masturbation is now way more ‘out of the closet’ than it was when many of us started. Compared to 15 or 20 years ago, it’s much more discussed, seen as normal, and accepted as a natural part of human sexual development and life.
During the AIDS crisis, masturbation was lauded as a form of safe-sex. That period saw the rise of what some term the ‘solosexual’ — an entire culture or subset constructed around masturbation, its glorification, and enhancement practices such as edging, group, and mutual. We saw the appearance of clubs and groups, as well as informational websites. Later, that evolved into internet-based means of connection and exposure to the act — platforms like BateWorld and Chaturbate.
As with all things sexual, there’s now just so much more — more information, more stimulation, more opportunities — it would be hard to imagine anyone finding out about it on their own as I did.
In terms of any hints or advice, I’d tell a young guy to enjoy it and experience it as a part of what makes you male — it’s a gift of nature. It’s a pleasure you can have your whole life.
How to have better orgasms
We’ve been reading some fascinating research into the male orgasm.
Apparently, the average male orgasm lasts for 12.2 seconds. If you extrapolate that across the average male life-span, that means that we’re probably going to have spent about nine hours in the ecstatic throes of orgasm. Another fun fact, we’ll each produce about fifty litres of sperm. That’s a lot of cum.
According to the Kinsey Institute, most men think about sex several times a day.
Micha Schulze has written Sex Is A Head Thing! — a guide to orgasms for gay men. According to Schulze — “The biggest orgasm killers are comparing yourself to other men, a lack of communication, and stress.”
In a survey conducted by American website Queendom, 90 percent of gay men reported that they almost always reach orgasm when masturbating or having sex.
Orgasm is different from ejaculation. Ejaculation refers to the physical release of semen from your penis and urethra. Orgasm refers to that feeling of satisfaction and pleasure. Both the orgasm and ejaculation can be caused by the same physical stimulation, but they are technically separate from each other. Massaging your prostate can intensify the pleasure of your orgasm.
Experts describe the male orgasm as consisting of four distinct phases — excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Depending on your age and stamina, the length of these phases can vary between men.
Some doctors suggest that your orgasms can be intensified or strengthened if you exercise the pubococcygeus muscle — commonly referred to as the PC muscle. This is a hammock-like muscle that stretches from the pubic bone to the coccyx, forming the floor of the pelvic cavity and supporting the pelvic organs.
A basic exercise for your PC muscle — sometimes referred to as a kegel exercise — is to contract and hold your PC muscle for 5–20 seconds, then release them. Repeat this 10 to 20 times in a row, three to four times a day. Gradually build the number of contractions you complete and the amount of time you hold each contraction for.
Another exercise you can try is when you are urinating, use your pelvic muscles to control the urine stream — stopping and starting the flow.
You can also train yourself to have better orgasms by varying the way that you masturbate or have sex. When you’re jacking off or having sex, remember to change positions, take short breaks, and explore all of your erogenous zones. Edging, or deliberately delaying your orgasm can intensify the pleasure that your body will experience.
Trying new things when you’re masturbating or having sex can also enhance your pleasure. Try using gloves when you’re masturbating, have sex in front of a mirror or a camera, use different sensations to stimulate the body — cold ice, hot candle wax, the sting of a riding crop.
When it comes to sex, when it comes to pleasure, when it comes to having the best orgasm possible, every day is a school day.
I’ve only just now found meanshappy.com and WOW! I love it, I wish I had known beforehand! Thanx and I will be much happier from now on!
This is an OMG moment. Just today, the 27th May 2022, I have discovered this site and I discover that tomorrow is International Masturbation Day! I shall celebrate the day accordingly.