If you’ve ever thought that you might need to shake up your sex life a bit, then you might have wondered whether exploring something like Tantra could be the answer.

We caught up with Tantra practitioner Tomaz Mueller to find out all about it.

Is Tantra a way for gay guys to spice up their sex life a bit, or should we be approaching it from more of a healing and wellness perspective?

Tantric practices definitely will add a new flavour to anyone’s sex life, irrespective if you’re in a relationship or not. As a health professional, of course I’m approaching any tantric work more from a healing and wellness perspective.

Especially within the gay community, we carry a lot of guilt, shame and fears, which restrict self-expression. These emotions are stored deep within our being and influence how we interact with ourselves and the people around us.

My approach to clinical practice is to understand that any manifestation of a disease or imbalance on a physical level has its origin in its subtler bodies such as the mental and emotional body. Tantra works predominantly with breath, sound, and sensory awareness to release stored trauma and blockages, to free up stagnant energy, which promotes a great sense of joy, healing and well-being.

Is Tantra right for everyone, or do you have to be in a specific head-space to get the most out of a Tantra session?

The path of Tantra is a path for those who are looking for a deeper connection to themselves and their partners. I consider Tantra a sacred practice that enables you to combine sexuality with spirituality, leading to personal growth, joy and fulfilment in life.

Tantra provides an amazing opportunity to find balance again with the two most basic forces inherent within us, the male and the female, the Shiva and Shakti aspect. It’s because of the imbalance of these two elements that we experience all the struggles within our world today – ‘oh, a man can’t show any emotions’, ‘I need to protect myself because I might get hurt again’, ‘I feel ashamed if I let my hair down and express my deepest sexual desires’. These are just a few of the many belief systems we carry. Tantra invites you to be brave enough to become aware of these wounds so they can be healed and transformed.

Originally, sexuality was much more than just a physical act. It was seen as a sacred dance of the male and female aspects within us, where sexuality fuses with spirituality into a space of bliss, liberation and ecstasy. The doorway to this experience is your heart, not the mind.

Through the work I do, we slowly get used to stepping out of our head-space and to start increasing the awareness of what actually happens within my body when I use breath, how can I direct my breath to an area where I feel any tension, what emotions come up, what images rise from the subconscious when I use touch that is infused with the loving energy of the heart. The only requirement is to approach a tantric session with a sense of openness and curiosity and a willingness to surrender into vulnerability and truth.

When you let your heart take the leadership of your sexuality it will allow you to cleanse your beliefs around trauma. Your heart provides you access to your true soul essence so you can find your joyful expression of self.

Is the current lock-down throwing up any particular challenges or opportunities from a Tantra perspective?

We might have been locked down due to the global Covid-19 crisis, but that lock-down has unlocked something else –  our own ‘Pandora Box’, the source of our innermost troubles, shame, blame and fears that have prevented us for a very long time from living the best possible version of ourselves.

This crisis offers an opening to dive deep into the box so we can find the greatest gift – the discovery of our true manhood and sexuality, which lies at the roots of our being for the development of heart and soul bringing purpose and meaning back into our day to day life.

Being confined to our own spaces, perhaps with a partner or family member, or maybe simply in our own company, reduces the easy access to sex with strangers, which we’ve become used to. Dating apps can be a great distraction to avoid connecting with our true self, to avoid the experience of genuine love.

This lock-down provides a massive opportunity within the gay community to be bold and to develop the curiosity to rise up to the challenge and to expand our horizon of knowledge with regards to sexual pleasure and fulfilment. For those who do explore the path of Tantra, they unavoidably will discover an entire new galaxy beyond the stereotypical gay landscape of top and bottom.

For many within our community, jumping into a Tantric experience might be too much to begin with. So, there’s an invitation to start looking into a personalised meditation practice. For more than 30 years, I’ve been teaching a simple Vedic meditation technique to people of all ages, nationalities and backgrounds, which will allow the mind to calm down and to experience deep rest and a greater sense of self-awareness. By dedicating a short amount of time to a daily practice you will not only improve your physical health but also enhance your mental and emotional well-being.

Both, the meditation course and tantric sessions are available through online learning. I truly hope that more and more guys within our community will make best use of this time of isolation. Another option for you might be to start your Tantric journey by joining this free Tantra for gay men app.

As a gay guy, if I’m wanting to feel a bit more self-confident and get more satisfaction from intimacy with other guys, how could Tantra help with that?

If you’re looking to improve self-confidence, a healthy body image, the ability to connect to others or to establishing a healthier relationship with yourself through intimacy and sensuality, then tantric therapy can certainly assist you.

Through the use of massage and sensual touch, various meditation practices, sound, breath work and sensory awareness, Tantra breaks false beliefs around man-to-man connections, abandonment and neglect.

By activating your ecstatic body, Tantra contributes to the release of trauma, shame and feelings of unworthiness, which will help support the development of a well-integrated gay identity alongside an enhanced spiritual awareness.

Through the release of blocked energies you will be guided to reclaim your power by creating balance between giving and receiving, the polarity of the male and female aspects within each being, so you can allow true love and understanding back into your life.

Is the best way to get started with a one-on-one session or a group session?

This really depends on what you’re looking for. If you’re ready to embark on a journey with me that will take you to a deeper spiritual awakening by integrating your sexual self with a higher purpose, then certainly a one-on-one session would be the suggested approach. On the other hand, if you’re curious to tap into your sensual, intimate and ecstatic self through the gateway of the five senses then you could start with a group session, keeping in mind that tantric therapy is much more profound than just an online group jack-off.

During the current lock-down, online sessions usually start clothed – depending on the topic – and may transition towards some nude exercises.

If you’re not sure where to start, I offer a free 15-minute phone call to discuss the best possible approach. Anyone interested, please go to my website and subscribe with the code: 108. I’ll be in touch to arrange a suitable date and time. By subscribing, you’ll also have access to a free chapter of my first book – The Natural Health Matrix, Eastern Wisdom for Western Minds.

What do you hope that guys feel when they take part in your Tantra sessions and workshops?

My aim is to provide a safe space for guys so that they can find out how much fun it can be to fall in love with themselves again. From my sessions, guys will take away the trust and willingness to embrace their innate power of the male and the female energies and the experience of its healing energies.

Perhaps the stripping away of some of the pain, guilt and or shame they may have held within will allow them to express themselves more freely, enabling them to leave the session feeling nurtured, energetic and cared for.

I’m hoping that they would return to regular life with a greater sense of connectedness of heart and soul and a curiosity to discover more and to dig deeper, as well as perhaps an awakened thirst to explore the true meaning of life.

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