Most guys will tell you that your first erotic gay massage is probably both the scariest and the most exciting.

So, before you choose to take the plunge, you can calm first-time jitters by getting some more information.

What you can expect at a massage session

If you’ve been given an address where your masseur is located, it’s perfectly fine to knock on the door at the appointed time. You don’t have to call or text when you’re outside, although you can if you prefer. Your masseur will have started preparing the massage room beforehand, so he will be expecting you.

If you can’t find the address, you can expect some help in the form of directions or even the masseur coming out to meet you outside the building or flat.

What counts as “massage time”

The massage time counts from the beginning of the appointment as booked. In most cases, this means that if you’re late, your massage will be shorter. You may choose to shower, if the facilities exist, or have a chat beforehand, but be aware that it also forms part of the appointment time – unless agreed otherwise. The masseur may have another appointment afterwards, and might need time to prepare, so “running over” is often not an option. If in doubt – ask!

Do you feel that you should get “free” time for late arrival or the chat you have with your masseur during your session? Think about how you pay your therapist, your therapeutic masseur or some other professional’s time. It works the same way.

So what happens next?

You will be asked to undress and lie down for your massage. Your masseur will apply massage oil or lotion to your body and – provided that you’ve chosen a reputable masseur or agency – a thorough therapeutic massage will ensue.

The erotic elements will depend on the masseur and the massage that you choose, but may include:

• Nudity. It varies as to whether it will be full or partial nudity – ask beforehand so that there’s no confusion.
• Erotic touch. Your masseur may just use his hands, or arms, or he may use his whole body. When you book, ask if it’s okay to touch the masseur – this is generally referred to as mutual touching. It depends on the masseur as to whether mutual touching is an option.
• Teasing. Your masseur may offer the option of feathers or a blindfold if you want to explore those sensations.
• Lingam massage. This is a style of massage that focuses on the penis. Most erotic massages will involve the masseur touching your penis, but a lingam massage is often something that you can request for additional attention to that part of your body.

Money matters

Some masseurs and agencies will only accept cash but some will take card. It’s worth checking the payment in advance so that you’ve got sufficient cash with you if that’s required.

Be careful with masseurs or agencies that require payments or deposits at the time of your booking. Often it’s a legitimate way to avoid time-wasters, but there are also some scammers about. Most places will ask that you pay directly to the masseur once you arrive for your session.

Tipping is not expected, although of course you may do so if the massage was truly exceptional.

Some tips and etiquette points

Everyone agrees that good manners cost nothing, but sometimes there’s specific etiquette for different areas of life.

When it comes to erotic male massage it’s a good idea to:

• Arrive on time. Early arrival could find the masseur unprepared and a late one could mean a shorter massage.
• Call ahead if you have to postpone or cancel. Life happens, any good masseur/agency will understand that. Just let them know as soon as you find out. No-shows, on the other hand, are disrespectful and could have you blacklisted.
• Arrive clean or take a shower on arrival. You’d be surprised how much dead skin and dirt can peel off someone’s skin during a massage. This is especially important for erotic massage that involves a great deal of intimate touch.
• Notify the masseur or agency if you are running late.
• Tell your masseur if you like or dislike any particular touch.
• Offer feedback to your masseur or agency afterwards. Issues can’t be addressed if you don’t bring them up, and good feedback can make someone’s day.

You should always, always expect this

It’s all very well to advise to feed-back, but what if you don’t know what’s “okay” and “not okay” within the industry? Here’s what you should get during any erotic massage session.

• Masseur arrives on time and the session lasts the agreed time – no cutting corners.
• You are not rushed. This should be a relaxing experience.
• You’re provided with at least one towel, which must be perfectly clean.
• If you are unsure what to do, your masseur should guide you.

A word on intimate touch

Intimate touch should be by consent. You should not feel violated or pushed into something you’re not comfortable with. If you don’t like something, you can stop it at any time and still continue with the massage.

If you’re not enjoying something that the masseur is doing, you can politely ask them to adjust or do something else.

It’s your massage session. You paid for this time and the masseur is there to ensure that you enjoy it.

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