A beginner's guide to a circle-jerk
Get some buddies together and get down to business.
There’s nothing new about a circle-jerk – it is pretty much what it says on the tin, and the appeal is self-evident.
Circle-jerks got a lot of publicity during the peak years of the HIV pandemic - before treatment options were developed. They were also recommended during the Covid-19 years - a way of reducing contact with people and the risk of exposure while still finding ways to satisfy our need for intimacy.
But actually, circle-jerks should always be on the menu as a way to explore our sexual pleasure - communal masturbation is awesome and definitely an experience to be embraced.
While there’s plenty of sex-on-premises venues that make finding opportunities to take part in a circle-jerk fairly straightforward, it can also be fun to arrange your own event.
So, grease up and let's get down to business.
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How to plan a circle-jerk
If you’ve ever got a group of guys together for a sex-party, then you’ll be able to apply all of that experience to arranging a circle-jerk. But let's take a look at some of the key considerations.
The invite list
The first step is to figure out who you want there and find out whether they’re available and up for it.
If you want to add some new faces to your fun, hook-up apps are a good starting point. If what you’re organising is a circle-jerk and nothing else, it’s really important to be up-front about that – you need to ensure that everyone attending is clear on the dynamic of the event.
There’s no restrictions on how many guys you have in your stroke squad – you can invite as few or as many bate brothers as you want. You’re probably going to want enough guys there so you’ve got some sexual energy in the room, but the bigger that the event gets then the harder it is to manage the logistics of it all.
Arrange the space and location
Finding the right venue for your circle-jerk is a fairly essential step in your planning.
It’s ideal if you can have the event at your place, or at the home of one of your buddies. This gives you total control over who takes part, and also puts you in charge of drinks, snacks, lube, and cum-rags.
Your local bathhouse or sex-on-premises venue might include spaces where the set-up is particularly conducive for a circle-jerk, so it's worth checking those options if you can't host.
Be clear on the rules
The clearer you can be with your upfront communication then the easier it is to ensure that everyone is one the same page and will have a good time.
The circle-jerks of the 80s were generally fairly strict about "no touching" - you stroke yourself and don't touch anyone else. That's a good approach but it's obviously a very different dynamic than if everyone is stroking each other.
At the very least, most circle-jerks will have a "no sucking/no fucking" rule. It's not a sex party, it's a circle-jerk.
It's really helpful to give some clear guidance to people about when to arrive and when to leave. What you don't want is guys wandering in and out whenever they feel like. A circle-jerk is at its most powerful when you build the sexual energy in the room and you're in the same head-space.
Create a safe space
Circle-jerks seem to work best when the vibe is relaxed, warm, supportive, and welcoming.
Some guys might feel a bit overwhelmed by the experience - they may not get hard or may not cum. Don't put pressure on anyone to behave in a certain way or to do anything specific.
The power of a circle-jerk is creating a bond, building the communal sexual energy, and exploring pleasure in a homosocial space.
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