A beginner's guide to cruising - online.
You never know what a wink might lead to.
Cruising for sex is a time-honoured queer tradition and part of the cultural fabric for men who hook-up with other men.
When we talk about cruising, we're generally thinking about hot-spots such as public toilets, truck-stops, or the wooded bit of the park. But in today's digital age, we also need to bring our cruising skills into our online interactions.
The rise of online dating, location-based smartphones, and hookup apps such as Gaydar have changed the game when it comes to how men-seeking-men connect with each other.
While real-world, in-person cruising is still very much a thing, you also need to know how to get a guy's attention before he scrolls past, and how to let a dude know that you're interested and worth at least an exchange of dick pics.
Start with a wink
Real-world cruising relies a lot on eye-contact. Your gaze will let a guy know that you're interested, and the way that he looks at you will give you a lot of information about his intentions.
In many ways, you can directly translate that form of communication into the online space. If you've scrolled onto a guy that pushes your buttons, you have to let him know - there's no point just sitting back and hoping that he discovers you, that's not how the technology works.
Gaydar has a "wink" function. Other dating apps have something similar. Dropping a wink at a guy is a really low-stakes way of letting a guy know that you've looked at his profile, that you like what you see, and that the ball is in his court as to where things go from here.
If someone winks at you, take it as a compliment. How you respond to a wink is totally up to you. Just like real-world cruising, you don't have to respond to every signal that comes your way. But if you do like the look of a guy who is winking at you, then the next move is yours to make - start a chat, send a pic, see what he's into.
Pro Tip: Upgrade your Gaydar membership from Free to VIP and you'll be able to see everyone who has winked at you or checked out your profile. In all seriousness, this is a total game-changer.
What's the next level after a wink?
One of the challenges with real-world cruising is that not a lot of words are used - needs and desires are generally communicated through body-language and the occasional grunt, with the odd "fuck yeah" to encourage things along.
That's all a bit harder to navigate in an online context where you've somehow got to go from winking at each other into figuring out if you're going to get it on.
A good starting point is to be clear on what your intention is in this moment. Are you checking your hook-up app profile because you're horny and wanting some action, or are you just looking for a bit of chat and some validation. If you're dishing out winks, you're pretty quickly going to be asked something along the lines of "what are you looking for?"
If you are looking for action, you need to briskly move from sending a wink into sorting out the logistics. Are you compatible in terms of what you're both looking for from the encounter? Where will it all go down? Is this happening now or at some point in the future?
Don't get trapped in an endless loop of winks and polite chat. Exchanging dick pics with anonymous men on the internet is all well and good, but at some point you're going to want to turn that digital connection into something very real, sweaty, and satisfying.
Give it a try - you never know what a wink might lead to!
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