Beyond Semantics: Recognizing LGBTQ+ Marriages as Marriages
Words matter.
By Anthony T. Eaton
As our world strives toward greater acceptance and inclusivity, it’s disheartening to encounter reminders that LGBTQ+ people still face challenges to be fully recognized and respected. While progress has been made in securing equal rights and recognition for same-sex marriages, the language we use still holds a lot of power. For example, referring to LGBTQ+ marriages as "partnerships" can diminish the depth of these unions, further marginalizing us.
I recently had a moment that hit hard and highlighted the work still needed. I received an email from Human Resources that referred to my late husband as my "partner." My reaction was immediate and visceral—not just a frustration over wording, but a deep frustration with a system that often fails to fully recognize our relationships. My husband, Jim, and I were married. Our relationship spanned nearly thirty-five years, including years of marriage after long, hard-fought battles for our rights. Calling him my "partner" diminishes that reality. I didn’t lose a "partner"; I lost my husband. This isn’t about semantics; it’s about dignity and respect for our lives and our commitments.
Some might say it’s just a word, but for LGBTQ+ people, calling our marriages "partnerships" feels like a rejection of the emotional and legal depth of our relationships. It can make us feel that our unions are less valid than those of heterosexual couples, suggesting our love and commitment are somehow lesser.
This language reminds us that society still sometimes views us as different or less than.
While some may believe we should be more patient—especially with those who might not fully grasp the importance of language—there comes a time when patience runs thin. After years of explaining, I’m tired of excusing those who refuse to acknowledge our relationships as marriages, using words like "husband" and "wife." In this case, I confronted the HR professional who repeatedly used "partner." Not everyone feels comfortable speaking up, but when we can, we should.
Our community continues to be vulnerable to attacks from those who challenge our precarious rights.
When we let these "small things" slide, we risk undermining the hard-earned rights we’ve fought for.
The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that we have the right to legally marry and use the titles of "husband" and "wife." This isn’t about seeking approval but respect, recognition, and dignity.
Words matter. The way we describe LGBTQ+ marriages shapes perceptions and attitudes. We must insist that our relationships be acknowledged for what they are: marriages, not partnerships. This simple step toward respect and inclusion is essential in building a society where love in all its forms is equally celebrated.
Anthony T. Eaton is a freelance writer in Saint Paul, MN.
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