Dating

Gay men and daddy issues

Why are lads into dads?

Means Happy

04 Sep 2024 — 3 min read

Why do some guys only date younger guys? Why do some guys only date older guys? Why is the father/son fantasy such a mainstay of the sexual identity of gay men?

Of course, the Ancient Greeks elevated this kind of thing to an art-form. Paiderastia (boy love) was commonplace — relationships between an older man (the erastes) and an adolescent boy (the eromenos) were seen a rite of passage, part of a boy’s education in the ways of the world.

But what role does this kind of relationship play in today’s world, and how healthy is the sexualisation of roles such as Daddy/Son?

We talked it over with Justin Duwe – a counsellor who specialises in working with gay men and gay relationships.

“While there’s no general rule of thumb, men who are interested in Daddy/Son role plays may find it sexually stimulating for a number of reasons…” explained Duwe. “It could be because it deals with the taboo of family incest, others may find it appealing because they’re attracted to older men or younger men, they may find the difference in the power dynamic to be exciting, they may be acting out a subconscious relationship pattern – especially in cases of abuse – or they may believe that a younger/older man is the answer to their past sexual or relationship issues.”

“As long as the sex is healthy, safe and is between consenting adults, then why not enjoy what you are turned on by or attracted to?” suggests Duwe. “If you find yourself turned on by looking at Daddy/Son porn, sexually interested in older men or younger men, or excited by power and submission within a sexual context, then you may find Daddy/Son sexual role playing a welcome addition to your sexual menu.”