Dating

How to date gay men

A beginner's guide to bonding with boys.

Means Happy

20 Oct 2024 — 5 min read

On one hand, gay men are very simple. We think with our dicks.

However, trying to establish and build and navigate a relationship with a gay man is no easy feat.

A hook-up is one thing, but if you want to get to know a guy a bit better – learn his name, see him again, hang out – then you’re moving into the dating zone.

Here's some suggested date ideas to help you figure out if you've got a connection worth investing in.

Let’s get coffee?

A coffee catch-up is an easy first-base of dating.

You might have already had sex, but sitting down with a guy and having coffee with him means that you’re going to have to talk to each other.

Chat. Flirt. Get to know a bit more about him.

Cook with me?

Inviting a guy over and cooking dinner for him might seem like too much too soon, but why not suggest a joint cooking project?

You find a lot out about someone when you see them in action in the kitchen.

Making bread or pasta is a good option because it’s very tactile and takes a while.

Alternatively, make cupcakes and then decorate them together.

Let’s go outside

Exploring a bit of cruising action together could be a good date option. It gets you outdoors, spending time together, but you’ve also got that sexual edge of looking for some fun and looking for some fun together.

Let’s go dancing!

You don’t have to be in a club to go dancing – you could do this at home or in the park – but dancing in a club is pretty awesome.

Find out what kind of music he’s into. Find out whether he’s got any rhythm. Has he got loose hips?

Netflix and chill?

This is old-school, but it works. Get the popcorn, get comfortable, and make sure that he knows that it’s a sleep-over.

Spa day?

You don’t have to spend big money on a day spa experience – although that is a lot of fun.

Spend some time together exploring face-masks, body scrubs, foot massages – the lot!

Photo-shoot

This can just be you and your iPhone, but it can be a lot of fun just to allocate some time to taking photos of each other. Maybe it’s an underwear shoot? Find your angles, try out different poses, discuss your favourites, try on lots of different pairs of underwear.

Get driven

The concept is to hire a limo for a couple of hours, grab a bottle of champagne, and get driven around for a bit while you live it up in the back seat.

Get cultural

Going to the theatre is a fail-safe thing to do on date-night. Get dressed up, get a bit glamorous. Kick the night off with a glass of champagne and get into it.

Get kinky

Why not use date night as an opportunity to explore your sexual fantasies? Talk about what turns each of you on, figure out the logistics of how you could explore some of those fantasies together. Maybe you need to buy some toys, find some role-play fetish-wear, or hire a sex-worker to help make it happen.

Get rhythm

What about a dance class? It could be Salsa or Argentine Tango – something that gets you moving together, figuring it out together. It doesn’t matter if you’re rubbish at it, it’s all about having fun with each other and giving it a go.

Get pampered

Book a posh hotel room for the night. It’s often more fun than going out for dinner – you get to order room-service, lounge around in fluffy bathrobes, and slurp on champagne that you’ve smuggled in.