Perhaps it is time for a little more one-on-one time, and you want to make it an extra special date with yourself. For millions of people, it takes a long time to work out what it is they like, what they don’t, what makes them feel frisk, and what doesn’t.
Self-pleasure is one of the ways that you can take control and really know your body and your wants and needs in a new way. And the best thing about it is there isn’t just one way to do it. The biggest issue, which has slowly been melting away in recent years, is that many people are still told that it isn’t a good habit to hold, that it is dirty and shameful.
The fact is, though, it is healthy for us and something we can enjoy alone or with other people.
So, make a date with yourself and employ some of these tips for a divine time.
Mentally
While it is not the same for everyone, if you’re not in the right headspace – no matter what you try, you won’t quite get there. For many people, thinking and imagination will do up to 80% of the hard work. So make sure that you are relaxed and let your mind wander; in fact, if you’re free to do so – let your imagination go wild. You deserve it.
Ideally, your mind and body should be on the same track because it leads to a much more enjoyable experience.
And, even though you’re just having fun with yourself, it is important to check in with yourself. If you’re feeling shame even though you enjoy it, it can be worth exploring where that comes from and why. Reframing it into something that is fun, free (unless you buy toys), and very enjoyable can work wonders.
Slow
Undeniably, there are going to be times when fast and furious is exactly what you want, but there is something much more fulfilling about doing it a little slower. You might approach it with a ‘get it done’ quick attitude, and if that is what you want, then great! But if you have the time to spend getting to know your body a little better, it can make the times you’re with a partner better, too.
Think about what it is like when you are with someone, and you want someone to take the time to explore you a little more. It’s rarely fast and furious; often, it can be more passionate and enjoyable when it is slow – and filled with love.
Romance Yourself
Falling in love with yourself is a big deal, and romancing yourself can be a great way to get there. When was the last time you got yourself the sweet treats that you love, cooked a meal just for you – something rich and decadent (or your favorite comfort food), got yourself flowers or plants, lit some candles, and just let yourself love yourself?
Probably a while! Most people have never been taught self-love and what that could look like. We do, however, get taught what someone else loving us might look like.
Do all of the things that you wish someone else would do for you to yourself.
Talkin’ Body
In the era of self-love, that could be too big of an ask for you right now, but you might be more comfortable with body neutrality. Either way, all of it starts with looking at your body and learning to appreciate what you see.
Most people don’t stand in front of a mirror and inspect what they’ve got going on – in fact, most people avoid it completely. But you’re really doing your glorious body a disservice by not appreciating all of the great stuff that it does.
If lights off and as fully dressed as possible is how you have partnered sex, it could be time to explore why and what you might like to do if that wasn’t the case.
One of the biggest issues is that for more than 20 years, people have been told what looks good and bad, how to be skinnier, that you need to be more cut, how to be hotter, and how to be more attractive. And more often than not, who we are doesn’t match up to the photoshopped supermodels.
Get to know your body, and if you can’t fall in love with it, then find your favorite bits and love them hard.
Make Stuff Up
Poke things, press things, twist things, jiggle, wiggle, and tug. If something comes to mind that you want to try as a sensation, then try it. Experimentation is exciting, and you might find exactly what it is you’re looking for ;).