Dating is a bit of a numbers game. Whether you’re embracing the technology and using apps such as Gaydar, or if you’re going old-school and hitting the bars or cruising spots, there’s no real science to meeting a guy that’s right for you – it’s a bit of a lottery, you just hope that occasionally your number comes up.

Do you have a bit of an imaginary check-list that you’re assessing guys against when you meet them? Is your first date game-plan pretty much a list of questions that they need to score pretty highly on in order to make it to a second date?

Here’s some of the questions that we try and drop into the conversation fairly early on in our courtship rituals.

How do you feel about dogs?

We don’t have a dog. We don’t have any imminent plans to get a dog. But we generally find that guys who are into dogs are a bit more laid-back and easy to get on with.

We’re not looking for puppy-play. There’s nothing wrong with that, obviously, but there’s a time and a place.

It probably wouldn’t be a total deal-breaker if he admitted to being more of a cat-person, but it would put a question mark over our future together.

Isn’t STI testing hilarious!

Health is important. As queer guys, we need to be pretty clued up on the STIs we’re likely to encounter and how to look after our bodies.

We’re not particularly interested in the results of their STI tests, but we want to know that the guys that we’re dating are up-to-speed on everything – particularly stuff like U=U and PrEP – and that we’re not going to have to navigate any awkward conversations about HIV stigma.

What song would you like played at your funeral?

Okay, it’s a fairly morbid question, but we like guys who have a bit of a dark sense of humour. Everyone has thought about what they want played at their funeral. Our preferred track changes regularly. At the moment, we’re leaning towards Like A Prayer by Madonna – with full gospel choir, obviously.

There’s probably no wrong answer to this question, but if they haven’t thought about it then we’ve possibly got a problem.

What’s your ideal vacation?

We need a guy who likes the beach, and likes swimming, and doesn’t mind if we occasionally take a bit of time out and just hang by the pool for a while.

We wouldn’t be mad if his ideal vacation was extreme trekking in the Himalayas, just as long as he doesn’t expect us to join him on that expedition.

How do you feel about monogamy?

Some guys are really into monogamy, and that’s totally cool.

We’re not opposed to it, but it can get fairly difficult to sustain. Some broad consensus on the ground-rules is always a good starting point.

Any allergies?

We’re pretty calm in a medical emergency, so if we need to stand by to be ready to stab him with an EpiPen, that’s no problem.

But we’re not brilliant with fussy eaters. When we go out for dinner, we want to try everything. We don’t want an endless discussion about whether the chef washed his hands after touching some peanuts.

Top or bottom?

The deal-breaker isn’t whatever the answer is, the deal-breaker is the question itself. We don’t want a binary discussion about this is what we do or don’t do in bed. We like guys who are up for anything, who want to try new things, and are relaxed enough to understand that sex is fun and a bit of a giggle, not some rigid role-play.

Put the technology to work – update your profile, get out there and get amongst it, with Gaydar!

Dating can be a numbers game – put the technology to work with Unlimited Browsing

Like most dating apps, when you’re on the free version of Gaydar you get access to a limited number of profiles that you can browse through.

That’s great if you quickly connect with someone nearby, but if you want to expand your search and cast your net a bit wider, then you’re going to need to be able to see more profiles.

With Gaydar, there’s two ways that you can do this – either by making a one-time payment that unlocks Unlimited Browsing for 7 days, or upgrade your membership to one of the VIP options that gives you all of the enhanced features of the platform.

Put the technology to work – get out there and get amongst it, on Gaydar!

Hot tips for online dating

Even at the best of times, dating is not an exact science. There’s no magic solution as to how to meet people that you connect with, let alone how to make your date of sufficient quality that it leads to some repeat business.

The reality is that you’ve got to use the tools that you’ve got available to you, seize every opportunity, and try different things until you stumble across something that works for you.

Gaydar – the online dating specialists – have put together some hot tips that are worth a try if you want to explore your dating options.

Plenty of fish in the sea

Dating is a bit of a numbers game. You’re going to have to cast your net fairly far and wide in order to find the guys that tick your boxes and are up for getting together.

Look for a dating app that gives you Unlimited Browsing. This feature means that you’re never going to run out of profiles to view, and you can keep searching until you hit the jackpot.

Take a hint

It can be hard to constantly be putting yourself out there, unsure about how other guys are perceiving you.

One of our favourite online dating tools is the feature that lets you see if someone has added you as a Favourite.

If someone has added you as a Favourite, you’ve got to take that as a compliment and as a clear signal that they’re interested in getting to know you a bit better. Check them out, send them a wink or a message – let them know that their move hasn’t gone unnoticed.

Fly under the radar

If you’re in research mode, you may not want the whole world to know what you’re up to. Incognito Mode allows you to view profiles without anyone knowing who you’ve been looking at.

This is particularly handy if you’re stalking your gym-crush and figuring out how to make a move.

Know where you’re at

One of the frustrating things about online dating is when the conversation stops for some reason and you’re not sure what’s happening.

Read Receipts is the solution.

If you’ve got Read Receipts turned on for your dating app, you’ll be able to tell when someone has read your message. This has lots of advantages.

If they haven’t read your message, then they’re obviously busy doing something else – there’s no point waiting for an immediate response or hassling them as to why they haven’t answered. Be patient, continue your search elsewhere or distract yourself while you’re waiting for them to get back online.

If they have read your message and haven’t responded, then that’s okay. Maybe you’re not what they’re looking for, or maybe there’s something else going on with them that means that a date isn’t going to happen. Take it on the chin and move on.

Keep the spark alive

In pretty much every online dating conversation, there’s going to be the inevitable question as to whether you’ve got some more pics.

Some extra photos of your gorgeous face are helpful, as they let the other guy know that you’re real and that you’re not pretending to be someone that you’re not.

They’re also going to be looking for some body pics. They’re going to want to see what’s on the menu if you ever manage to get together in person.

Use a dating app that has an Adult Photos function. You can decide who you share your Adult Photos with, but it gives you the opportunity to share every inch of what you’re got to offer when you need to seal the deal with the guy you’ve been chatting with.

Be laser focused

While dating is a numbers game, you need to be as efficient as possible and maximise your chances of finding what you’re looking for.

Use the filter tools so that you’re only looking at the profiles of guys that match your search criteria.

If you need a guy who’s 37, with a moustache, and who is obsessed with Celine Dion, then set your search criteria and see who measures up.

Be proactive

No matter how amazing you are, there’s no point sitting back and waiting for the world to discover you. Do something. Make a move. Take action.

One of the dating app features that we find particularly useful is that you can see who’s viewed your profile. This could be the start of something beautiful.

Even if they haven’t taken it any further, the fact that they’ve viewed your profile means that you’ve caught their eye – that’s a pretty good starting point. Check them out, see where they are, see what they’re into. If they tick your boxes, send them a cheeky wink and a message. Let them know that you’re online and on-the-ball.

Put the technology to work – update your profile, get out there and get amongst it, with Gaydar!

Means Happy is proud to be part of the Gaydar family

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