Dating Advice For Gay Men
It is common for gay and bisexual guys to believe that dating is pointless. The guys you like never seem to return your feelings. Or maybe they’re just searching for something casual, but you want something serious (or vice versa). They may also engage in games. Or they never consider you and your emotions while making choices. Or they’re just awful people in general, making you reach for your Ventolin from anxiety. As a result, dating can be a headache for gay men. That being said, here are some dating tips for men who wish to make the dating experience a little less traumatic.
Date Outside Your ‘Type’
Gay guys, maybe more than heterosexual men, like having types or preferences. There’s nothing wrong with being drawn to men who appear or express themselves in a specific manner. That’s all right and perfectly natural. However, it might be wise to expand that type a little and not throw out a large set of individuals just because they don’t suit what you are normally drawn to. Be open to meeting a variety of men. This considerably expands your possibilities, and you never know, you might find this is better for you.
Research Apps Thoroughly
Perhaps you have something like Grindr on your phone. This can be a fantastic app for meeting people for casual dates and encounters, but if you’re looking for something more long-term and potentially serious, it’s perhaps not ideal. Although it’s true that men have met through Grindr and gone on to get married, it’s not what usually happens.
Therefore, it makes sense to ensure you are using the right apps for what you want. If casual is your thing, Grindr is ideal. If you’re looking for love, you might be better off trying a different app such as Tinder. Make sure you know what the app you’re using is predominantly used for so you – and the men you connect with – don’t get the wrong idea.
Facetime Before Meeting
If you arrange to meet a man in real life who you’ve only been talking to through email and text, there is the possibility that, when you actually start talking, you realize you’re not at all attracted to him and that you really don’t get on very well at all. What a waste of time it was to get dressed up and go out somewhere. And it will be disappointing too.
This is why it’s a good idea to Facetime someone before meeting up with them in real life. It’s the closest thing we have to a face-to-face meeting without the pressure and the stress of that meeting – if all else fails, you can simply terminate the call (although hopefully, it won’t come to that).
Basically, when you Facetime, it is as though you are in the same room as someone. You can see their mannerisms and facial expressions, you can see their habits, you can gauge their hygiene if you see fit. Plus, you can determine whether you’re able to hold a conversation with them. It’s the ideal first step without any of the commitment that a real-life meeting brings with it.
Don’t Plan Too Far Ahead
When you arrange dates many days in advance, the enthusiasm and energy dwindle, and by the time you get to the date, you’ll just want it to be over and done with as it’s all become a bit much (or a bit boring). Plus, it’s also more probable that something else will come up, forcing you or him to cancel if you arrange too far in advance. Try to schedule first dates as soon as you can after that initial spark, and second dates as soon as you finish the first (assuming that’s what you both want, of course).
Give It Your All No Matter What Your Expectations Are
If there is one secret to dating successfully, it’s that you should go in assuming the date will go badly. This might seem like a strange thing to say, but it works. When you have this mindset, you won’t be disappointed if the date really is like that – you’ll already have an escape plan, and you’ll know just what to do. However, if things turn out better than expected, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Of course, you must go in there and give it your all no matter your expectations. If you think it’s going to be bad and then go to the date and act moody and disappointed because of that, you’ll cause that exact issue to come true. It’s a balancing act, but you can do it.