How do you say Penis?

Let's learn some love language!

How do you say Penis?

There's lots of ways to talk about your penis. Cock and Dick are probably the most popular options, but we've put together a list of some of the alternatives.

  • Member
  • Phallus
  • Pecker
  • Peter
  • Prick
  • Putz
  • Shaft
  • Tool
  • Johnson
  • Manhood
  • Schlong
  • Willy
  • Wood
  • Dong
  • Heat-seeking missile
  • Meat
  • Fuck-stick
  • Wiener
  • Cum gun
  • Danger noodle
  • Boner
  • Pocket Rocket
  • One-eyed monster
  • Prick
  • Sausage
  • Peen
  • Joystick
  • Rod
  • Junk
  • Disco Stick
  • Tallywhacker
  • Trouser snake
  • Whang
  • Todger
  • Knob
  • One-eyed Jack
  • Hotdog with veins
  • Jimmy
  • Sword
  • Light saber
  • Cherry-popper
  • Hose
  • Man-hose
  • Cum-wand
  • Hot-beef-injector
  • Ass-smasher
  • Love-stick
  • Tube-steak
  • One-eyed wonder worm
  • Blue veined custard pumper
  • Goober
  • Hole Pounder
  • Wedding Tackle
  • One-eyed trouser snake
  • Percy
  • Meat and two veg
  • Nightstick
  • Thor’s sledgehammer
  • Truncheon
  • Tallywacker
  • Flesh flute
  • Piss pipe
  • Dip Stick
  • Spunk spear
  • One-eyed junket pumper
  • Cock-snot dispenser
  • Big Jim and the twins
  • Trouser trout
  • Banana
  • Ramrod
  • Pipe cleaner
  • Butt plunger
  • Magic wand
  • Love lance
  • Kielbasa
  • Ding-a-ling
  • Salami
  • Weapon of ass destruction

How do you say penis? What's your favourite way to talk about it? Slide into our DMs and tell us about every inch. Dick Pics encouraged.

The NSFW edition

If you want to admire see some penis action, our NSFW edition gives you every inch.

Sign in and check out our NSFW content - it's free!

Tommy and Mateo for Aussies Do It
Fuel for our fantasies.
How To Date Men: The Podcast
Exploring the world of dating, relationships, hook-ups, and intimacy.

Follow Means Happy on Twitter