How to keep your relationship fresh – 6 tips that might be worth a try
Relationships are hard work. We all know that. It’s fun and exciting when it all begins, you fall in love, and you make a commitment. But the day-to-day hassles of life can easily take their toll.
Sure, you still love your partner, but arguing about whose turn it is to take out the garbage is a bit of a passion-killer. You can’t bring your A-game every day, and sometimes the realisation hits you that it’s Saturday night and you’re both sitting silently in front of the television instead of talking, sharing your feelings, or doing things together that are fun and that you both enjoy.
Before you know it, it’s been over a week since you’ve had sex, and a lot of frustration and resentment is starting to build up.
We’re not claiming to have any silver bullet solutions to solve your problems with relationships, dating, or life in general, but we’ve had a fair bit of experience in this department, and made plenty of mistakes along the way. If you’re looking to spice things up a bit, here’s some of the options that you might want to try.
Make a gym date
You don’t have to work out together, but making a time when you can meet at the gym after work not only motivates you both to get to the gym on a regular basis, but also gives you something in common to talk about and an experience to share.
You can laugh at the muscle-heads in the weight-room, or try a new class together. If your gym has a sauna, you could get a bit hot and sweaty together – the possibility of being discovered can add a bit of a thrill to any erotic encounter.
This is a win-win situation – not only are you investing some effort into keeping your relationship on track, but you’re also keeping yourself fit and healthy.
Play games together
You might be a bit rubbish at crosswords, or Sudoku, or trivia quizzes, but finding something fun that you and your partner like doing together whenever you’ve got a bit of spare time is a good way to enjoy being in each other’s company.
It’s handy if it’s something you can do on your phones, something that you can put down and come back to whenever you need to. There’s good options for online chess, scrabble, or poker that are all worth exploring.
Everyone loves reality cooking shows - why not make your own? Challenge your friends or neighbours to a cook-off. You and your partner cook one night, and then your opponents cook another night. Everyone scores the dishes. It doesn’t matter who wins, but it’s something fun and silly that you and your partner can do together.
This kind of activity is also a great way to build a network of friends that you share together. Having mutual friends is another opportunity for you and your partner to have something in common, a chance to do something together that you both enjoy.
Learn a language
We’ve tried Spanish lessons, and we’ve tried French lessons. Neither attempt saved the relationships in question, but they did provide a pretty good grounding in some basic language skills that have been useful when travelling.
Even if you’re not into learning languages, finding some sort of class or activity that you can do together is a great way to spend some time where you’re actively engaged in something that you’ve both got an interest in.
Get a bit kinky in the boudoir
Focus on sex to really keep your relationship humming. Talk about what you both like, things you’d like to try. Outdoor sex can be fun and a bit adventurous, or try a threesome, or whatever other combination takes your fancy. Don’t let other people’s rules define your relationship, find what works for you.
Sometimes we’re not very good at talking about sex, or grappling with things if you’re not really connecting sexually for some reason. Don’t be afraid to call in some professional help – a relationship counsellor can help you and partner to constructively discuss what’s working and what’s not working. Getting things out in the open is much healthier than trying to pretend that everything is okay.
Don’t give up
There’s no silver bullet or magic secret to building a strong and sustainable relationship – it takes persistence, perseverance, and a whole lot of patience.
The key thing is not to be complacent – keep working at it. If you try something and it doesn’t really work, try something else!
No relationship is perfect all of the time. You’re going to have days, even weeks perhaps, when you wonder if it’s all worth it. Try and remember what attracted you to your partner in the first place – put to one side the thing that is annoying you in that moment, focus on the person that you’ve made a commitment to.