The pros and cons of watching porn with your partner
It could be the spark that you're looking for.
Everyone's relationship has its own unique dynamic - what works for one couple may not necessarily work for another.
However, a fairly general rule is that the more that you can communicate with each other and the more that you can explore and grow together, the easier it is to maintain the connection that brought you together in the first place.
Which brings us to porn.
Our experience of watching porn can be challenging to the way that engage with a partner in a relationship.
When we're younger or when we're single, we often develop patterns of behaviour in which we watch porn on our own to fuel our masturbation sessions.
We often fall back into those patterns of solo-porn behaviour if we're feeling in some way sexually unfulfilled in a relationship. Porn and masturbation can help us to find what we might not be getting from a partner.
But what if instead of watching porn by yourself, you broaden your patterns of behaviour around porn to include your partner?
Pros of watching porn together
Sharing experience
Making time to watch porn together helps to create an opportunity for you to connect sexually. By including your partner in your exploration of porn, it brings you closer together rather than leaving your partner excluded from an aspect of your sexual experience.
Easy way to learn about your partner’s fantasies
By watching porn together, you learn a lot about your partner - their turn-ons, their fantasies, and also what are their turn-offs.
Watching porn together helps to facilitate their dialogue - you're in a safe space, you're both naked, aroused, equally vulnerable, sharing your desires.
A great foreplay option
Watching porn together is a great way to maybe just masturbate so that you can both get that sexual release, but it's also an easy foreplay option that can give you both the green-light to take things further.
Cons of watching porn with your partner
Highlighting a potentially unhealthy relationship with porn
We all have our own relationship with porn. If you decide to share your porn-watching with your partner, it might highlight that you've got quite different understandings of the role that porn can play in the sexual experience. What feels completely normal and arousing to you might seem a bit obsessive or compulsive to him.
The type of porn that turns you on might also highlight differences between the two of you. If you want to immerse yourself in some taboo fantasy role-play, that might prompt a trigger-warning or red-flag from your partner if he wasn't aware that your desires can take you to some dark places.
Decrease the sexual desire
If you both get into watching porn together, you might start to prioritise that over actually having sex with each other. That's not something that needs to carry any moral weight - it's not necessarily a good or bad thing - but it's helpful to be aware of how your relationship is evolving and the role that porn is potentially playing in that.
Guilt and mistrust
Effective communication is what is essential. If you've discussed that you're going to watch porn together, you might feel guilty about also wanting to watch porn when you're by yourself. Rather than setting rules or boundaries for each other about how porn features in your relationship, try and share what you're feeling and what your needs are. Try to empower each other to find sexual satisfaction and enjoy sharing that journey together.
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